I went down to the pottery store Wednesday afternoon, only to find the place was absolutely filled to the brim with kids. Kids kids kids, filling every table of this small room. Now since I could only get a 15% discount off of merchandise on Wednesdays, IF I finished making said merchandise on Wednesday, and they didn't say when they'd fire it off and give it back to me� well, let's just say that I had a hunch that there'd be no way I could get a plate done today, and I had no idea if I could get one done in time on next Wednesday. I also went around eyeing the merchandise, and plates ran somewhere between $12 (small) to $20something (anything larger/useful).

So I gave up on the entire plate idea (maybe for her birthday), since it wasn't going to be all that cheap in the long run and may be entirely unfeasible, and strolled right over to my favorite bead store next door, where I spent a pleasant hour or so picking out pendants. Plus I'd racked up enough on my store credit card thingie that I got a free $5 worth of beads extra! Whee! I have decided that any girl I must get presents for this year gets a necklace and she'd better LIKE IT! I got green and purple stone pendants and a red flower pendant and a silver pinecone pendant, all of which may go to Mom, since I have decided to make her three necklaces (I have enough beads already so I should be able to do it, I just needed pendants) and perhaps a little jewelry box to go with them. I also got a big green iridescent pendant and a gold star pendant for me, and some large flower pendants just in case. I also used my gift certificate at the other store. Since all the clothes were at least $30 unless I wanted to buy something see-through and transparent, I ended up buying a large silver locket. Very nice work. I don't know what I'll do with it, but it could be useful at some point. I would have given that to Mom, but I already gave her a locket one year.

Unemployment is fun, except for the lack of money.

So anyway, Shawn had to go do the Christmas house light judging this year and invited me to come along. Last year when I was working there, they wouldn't let me go along on judging- I'm not sure why, perhaps a number limit- but I was kinda ticked on that. However, since he was doing the driving around alone, he could sneak me in. So we drove around the absolute dead fringes of this town, looking for the houses that had entered the contest. It was probably a good thing he'd brought me along for that, since I took (the world's most illegible, quickly-written-in-the-dark) notes and read the map. The town I'm from is very much into decorations, though we have one house that's so spectacular that they don't do a contest because they'd always win. I would say that this town did fairly well, but there were only a real few fairly spectacular spots.

While we were doing that, he filled me in on stuff at the paper. Financially, still sucking, I guess, as they're getting rid of the special entertainment edition they do every week as of next month. Annoyingly, the girl they hired when they got rid of me is now doing my layout stuff (I always figured they'd just give her my job. They REALLY must like not having to train someone to do it like they did me. Sigh). Plus I heard about a work party being thrown this weekend, which I had wanted to go to because the person in question throws great parties, but ironically Shawn doesn't want to go to because he doesn't know a lot of people. I dunno how I feel about hearing stuff going on there. Mainly left out. It's not that pleasant to hear. Then again, at least I'm not worrying any more if I'm going to get laid off or the paper's gonna go under, so I guess there's a yay there.

So after we got done with that, he wanted a tour of my place (I'd been going on about how it is essentially a color bomb), so we did that, then he said he had to go, and then gave me a hug, talk talk talk�then he asked if he could kiss me.

Um, was I thinking when I said yes? I presume I wasn't much.

So we did.

I didn't mention that I have a cold. I am sleaze.

I'm still er, kinda stunned at myself. In case you couldn't tell. It has been um� years since I last made out with two people in the same seven-day period.

I had suspected he had a crush on me for quite awhile. (Particularly when he was pretty drunk.) I don't know his feelings on the matter, but I for one would have avoided the work relationship thing like the plague� which er, might explain this. Somehow I figured this day would come along, if you know what I mean.

Of all the fellows that have had crushes on me in the last year, he is the best of them. He is a friend. Do I want to screw that up? Ai yi. Oh, I have no idea where to go from that, folks. Not. A. Clue. I suspect that once again, my "I'm just a girl who can't say no" tendency has kicked in and gotten me into trouble. Though hey, if it ends in an ugly fashion, at least I don't have to see him every day thereafter!

Call it a hunch that while Scott would generally approve of Shawn, it might not perhaps go the other way around�at least, I suspect Shawn is the monogamous type. Then again, given the way casual nature of the Scott thing, I doubt there's any need to tell him. Oh lordy. I am a ho. I am a J-Ho. And I hate the original J.Ho.

I had a slight sore throat since I went up to Demma's, but never did anything about it while there. All my cold remedy stuff was elsewhere. However, it didn't really get any worse from there on, so I didn't think about it much. Last night, however, it got worse and more painful. I didn't even sleep until about 5:30 because it hurt so much. Ugh! Now I'm wondering if I'm going to get laryngitis, since my voice sounds all froggy. Shawn called asking if I wanted to go along while he house hunted tonight, but I turned him down due to general shitty feeling. He'll call tomorrow.

Well, the unemployment info came in today. And- well, everyone has told me that when you're on unemployment, you get about half of what you used to make. Guess what, that's not the case- I'm getting so very little money after all (seriously, it's a lot less than it said on the Internet that I should get). I will not be able to pay rent with it. I won't be able to EAT living on that.

I am going to HAVE to move home. Oh god. I could just cry. I am horrified. I mean, staring at that paper thinking how fucked fucked fucked I am. I won't be able to stay here past a few months.

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