So, what did I do after that traumatic entry y'all read? I spent a relaxing evening at home, watching movies and working on Mom's presents. That helped. I even stayed up late enough to watch Jerry Springer, which I haven't done since freshman year when we used to gang up together and laugh at it.

And oh, holy crap, is that ever scripted by now. The subject was the "Springer Family Hour", and I bet you know what that means in Springerville... that's right, INCEST LOVIN'!

(Oh lord, here comes Google at me again. I think I'll just have to give up the ghost on this one, though. I can't write about this without using certain words and it's just too funny to not pass along to y'all. We need some cheer after yesterday's miseryfest, and it may be hard to come by in the months to come.)

Specifically, the incest lovin' was "I'm sleeping with X family member and I'm going to dump my SO on television for the family member." Sleaze-o-rama.

Really, you gotta wonder about Jerry sometimes when you're watching this. He seems fairly disgusted with the stuff he puts on the air so much of the time... I guess the paycheck and ratings are worth it to him, but still.

First couple on the show was Redneck Bro and Sis who slept together when drunk, thought nothing of it, then eventually started it back up again. Now they want to get married and have a passel of deformed kids. He's got the almost-skinhead look about him, she's wearing a skimpyass leopard dress with fake fur on the tits (and, as we later found out, no underwear), and they are so obviously fake, as they kiss each other at random intervals, in between screaming at the audience that it's "None of your business!" (then why are you on the show?) and "It doesn't matter if we love each other", and "Moses did it." The audience kept "spontaneously" shouting "Incest whore!" for most of the show, as well as some other choice tidbits like "Hillbilly trash!" I swear, they must have someone in the building holding up signs for them to read and yell out. During the show the brother mooned the audience and the sister managed to flash her tits, moon and prove that "the carpet matches the rug". They eventually bring out the brother's girlfriend, and they scream and cry at each other. Tackily, brother proposes to his sister right in front of said wailing girlfriend, who's being held back by the bouncer. Girlfriend screams at them that they'll have deformed children, but sister says "It doesn't matter if they have five arms!" Jerry then said "Then they can be on my show! We'll grow our own!" Jerry's a hoot sometimes, he really is. He rocked when he was on Weakest Link. "I show what's best about America..."

Honestly, they don't even FIGHT on Jerry Springer any more. Everyone just makes faces and screams *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* at each other over the shoulders of the bouncers holding them back. The bouncers must make a lot of bucks as well.

Next up are the lesbian twins. "Incest whore! Incest whore!" starts up again, followed by "Twin whore!" Jerry's comment is "You're twins, why not just look in the mirror?" This time they spring it on Twin2's girlfriend (who's a crying wreck, I think Jerry felt sorry for her) and Twin1's boyfriend (who, after the first discovery, was all "Fuck this shit." Good for him.).

Then, having run out of real incestuous couples for the evening, we move on to the less-scandalous in-laws. One woman who's boinking her husband's nephew and one man who's boinking his ex, who is also his wife's cousin (who's a guy). They brought out the first woman's husband, who unlike the rest of them didn't know what was going on, and Jerry said "You're nervous because you're on this show and it can't be good." Duh! The wife with the gay husband kept screaming that they got married in church and he promised and he shouldn't be boinking her cousin any more, while he kept going on about how he gives me something you can't. Oy. Vey.

Incidentally, one random woman from the audience asked if she could go kiss the bouncer. He accepted.

Jerry's final thought: "You want to be polite...but this is just sick!"

The closing shot was of the bouncer escorting the brother and sister out of the building, and they asked him to walk her down the aisle. He considered it, but said he didn't think it would actually happen.

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I did hear back from the friend (Christine) I e-mailed yesterday, so I ended up filling her in on how the layoff happened. Sounds like she may be in town a few months longer, but is also stymied on job-hunting. Oh, I relate. While I'm on the subject of e-mails, I also heard from Bev. Bev, you're a sweetie.

In the continuing saga of Jennifer's Love Life... really, there's something about naming the journal about my spinsterhood that brings the boys in. Or something. I don't get it. Anyway, Shawn called me up around after I woke up (my guess is he got up late too, as guess who else was watching the Springerfest?) and asked if I wanted to go around while he did Christmas shopping at the mall. I'm not a girl to turn down shopping (even if I can't do my own, alas). He filled me in on the party from last night, which for obvious reasons I'm not invited to any more. Alas, sounds like it was fun. Oh well, at least I can say I went to it once and saw the Snoopys for myself.

Turns out he'd gotten me a present- a little mini Christmas tree, since we'd been talking about fake or real for awhile. Aw, how sweet. It's a cutie and I hope I don't kill it with a lack of watering. Though it's apparently been wet for a few days, so maybe it can take it? (Alas, boy, can I not afford to get him one at this point. Bleah. No money sucks.)

Other than the gift, things were pretty much ... normal for what I'm used to here. We wandered the nearby mall, which was fairly packed and Christmassy, looking at gifts for his nieces and nephew. Some serious consideration was given to the dancing hamster (yes, they do have real live dancing hamster toys out there), but the spinning karate weapons some of them were holding were determined to be too dangerous. We also wandered into Radio Shack while he tried to find a camera battery, and it turns out that a fellow that used to be a member of the Jennifer Crush Harem awhile back when I was with the ex was working there. Wonder what he thought of that (okay, I don't really want to know).

Okay, I may, much as I don 't want to, have to concede to some degree of babeability on my part. I mean, really, when I realize that I coulda had a harem of people who had crushes on me... geeeeeeeez.

Then we hit a pizza joint, yapped about Survivor, blah blah blah, he took me back to my place, and he er, took a shot at catching my cold again.

He wants me to be his girlfriend. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I said I want to take things slow.

Oh, I'm so wishy-washy, folks. I felt like I oughta give the poor guy a warning that I'm going to be completely bebuggered, thoughtwise in the next few months of utter turmoil. Then again, he's known me for two years, so maybe he has figured that out already? Oh, who knows. I'm so baffled at everything these days.

He's calling tomorrow. I suspect he's trying to get time in before I leave.

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