Chaos Attraction

Love Actually

2021-12-16, 7:40 a.m.

Wednesday recap:

Work continues to annoy me for various reasons, same old shit as usual. Only 2 days more to go, though. I note we had to do a second day of claiming we could help people with a program WE DO NOT USE OR HAVE ACCESS TO. I got pretty lucky with the people I had to contact and nobody really asked me to do much of anything other than check to see if it loaded from Program A (we don't have access to) to Program B (which we do). But one of our temps told me she got asked to get on a Zoom and show someone how and of course she had no idea. This is completely stoopid. However, their due date was today so hopefully we don't do more of this shit the rest of the week.

I finished several Christmas presents the last few days: anatomical heart for Ashley (she saw an anatomical heart necklace she liked the other day but can't wear metal), a reversible hat for Loretta, and I finally figured out the construction of Scott's hat. (Yes, he still gets a present even though this year went how it did... sigh.) There's also a photo up of the wire wrapping I did on Friday.

I also did (unphotographed so far) a cowl out of loop yarn for Mom. She bought this stuff 2 years ago and never touched it again and I found it on the bathroom floor--so guess what, now I made it and it's going to be a present. I really don't have much for her besides a few made items and some stuff I ordered from Hawaii, though. I'm really not wanting to give her MORE STUFF that ends up on the floor of the house like her gifts from last year clearly were, and given how omicron is going I'm disinclined to buy her tickets for experiences or whatever. (I've seen theater tickets for David Sedaris, Weird Al and John Cleese on sale lately for spring and now I'm thinking, "what's the point, it's all going to be canceled anyway.") So I don't know there.

Tonight I did an online reading of Love Actually (the original script--plenty of differences between that and what actually made it into the movie, for the record) with my online theater friend Jackie and whoever else she rounded up--19 people total. She does "hundreds" of plays online, I should say. Some people hadn't even seen the movie before and had no idea what they were getting into--the chick playing Jamie was all "how did these people fall in love?" and I was all "yup, that's about how it goes in the movie too."

So we had a good time. I just had a bunch of small random parts--"First Lobster," one of the guys interviewing Billy Mack, Tony the porn director/friend of Colin's (I did that one the most), one off secretary line, and Harriet "The Sexy One," i.e. the only time I'm ever getting cast as a hot chick, har har. People were amused at the end when I did both parts in the airport. I also sang "Both Sides Now" while Jackie, as Karen, was sad, that came out beautifully. I note that Jackie, a language teacher, did Aurelia and literally translated the lines in English into Portuguese.

Other standout moments: the chick playing the gift wrapper CAME PREPARED TO DEMONSTRATE. The guy playing Mark did hold up some signs on napkins.

It was lovely and hopefully I'll drop in again on something like that in the future when I have the free time.

Today's Hallmark: Sister Swap: Christmas in the City:

Meg Swift is tooling around in Salt Lake, has a meet-cute with Joe who works for her sister, Joe doesn't seem that into it and bugs off. "Whatever's next for me, I don't think it's in Hazelwood," she muses.

I get distinctive hormonal gay vibe from these two guys at the market. Two seconds of gazing at each other and it's clear, it's really cute. "I'm obvious. It's my superpower," one of them says.

Meg continues to ramble on to Joe whenever she sees him. "I've always thought of myself as cheerfully helpful!" He calls her "busybody." Meg is all "have a photo booth!" and "have a cookie baking station!" and Joe is all "Jennifer and I have a plan to have classy music and not doing too much stuff." Joe is overruled. I kinda feel sorry for Joe, who is all afraid that if they take on too much, they fail.

WHY THE HELL IS MEG RUNNING THE RESTAURANT WHEN SHE IS NOT THE BOSS OF THE RESTAURANT? This is the thing I have been thinking through every commercial for this move and I am continuing to think it. Like how many of us would be cool with our boss's sibling randomly showing up and running things while she's out of town? Wouldn't you be all "Um, do you actually know anything about this?" I'm not sure what the heck Meg's job is in regular life--working in a candy store or something? Secret event planner? "I'm sorry, am I missing something? Do you work here now?" Joe straight up asks. Meg says she's helping with the party. Joe takes it politely, which is all you can do, really.

I must note that these two guys at the market have more chemistry in 2 seconds of gazing at each other than Meg and Joe are having in the entire movie. Joe is just so ALL BUSINESS. "Did you not go to a middle school dance? Were you not fun?" she says to him. I don't think he was fun. Like obviously Ashley Williams is doing her Sparkle!Thing!, as she does, but it feels like it falls flat with Joe.

Joe and Meg get each other "double wide" (like a trailer?!) trees. It's not exactly Gift of the Magi? "Maybe we should start coordinating our screwball mistakes?" LOL. "I wish I had your optimism?" "Honestly, me too!"

Suddenly, the chef gets a new job and triplet niblings and RUNS OUT OF THERE.

Off-topic, Pete Davidson's smart water commercial is the funniest thing. Love it.

Joe comes over with coffee. "Not cocoa?" Joe goes on a giant rant about how during December everyone starts offering you cocoa, but he still drinks coffee. I hate coffee and I still think this is a reasonable rant to go on. Joe and Meg debate whether or not to tell Jennifer she lost a chef, which...dumb, you should tell her. Joe has a lead on some big shot though. I note that Jennifer is told BY THE QUITTING HEAD CHEF HERSELF, MIND YOU. They have a prospect, it falls through, Jennifer gets reasonably annoyed at this.

In this movie, we see that Meg was hiding during one scene. Jennifer's son Simon is totally cool with moving to Hazelwood, which makes me think, "Wait, a teenager isn't worried about moving schools and losing their friends?!?!" On a related note, Meg is now wanting to cancel a trip to Paris. Only Hallmark shows people canceling an effing trip to Paris (especially after showing Uncle Dave, Kevin Nealon in flashback, saying he wishes he could go). "France is going to feel like Hazelwood, with better cheese." Huh?1? I don't even care about ever going to Paris and that doesn't sound right.

The sisters and Joe hit up the guy in the marketplace (i.e. dating their guy employee) to be their chef. There is a SLIGHT kiss between the guys, and then they gang up and kiss some random girl?

Meg literally chokes when asked if she and Joe are...anything. I repeat, NO CHEMISTRY WHATSOEVER SO I DON'T CARE. And yet he is all "you and I, we fit." And I am all....seen better. We head back to the Madison stuff and the sisters decide to go into business together.

There's a giant snowstorm! No party after all, it's been canceled on them. I guess they all...tied, as all the people involved get some charity money. That was a fizzle. Joe gets offered a job himself so they won't work together, and it's perfect! Never mind, the party is being moved elsewhere, though I'm confused when they said that the roads are so bad they're asking people to not travel if they don't have to? I don't get snow, but that sounds bad? Anyway, everyone parties like it's 2019, Meg kisses Joe in the photo booth, and the sisters cuddle on each other, the end.

This is okay, I guess, but seriously, NO CHEMISTRY between these two people and it stands out even worse when you see an actual couple with chemistry in 2 seconds, whereas these two never gave me the feeling they would ever want to bone, much less move to each other, Also, yeah, you don't actually work there, do you?

I also watched Hawkeye, episode 5. Yelena is an absolutely fucking charming snarky delight and a treasure with every line she says.

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