Today�s entry is inspired by another one of Jette�s old entries. After reading that, I thought I might make a list of what I like about Christmas and what Grinches me out. I wrote this a few days ago in preparation for not being likely to update when I get home tonight, so it�s a little bit off compared to yesterday�s shopping entry. Oh well.

What I like about Christmas:

* Extremely silly songs: I have a collection of kooky Christmas music, and love looking around for more of it. Right before I left the newspaper, I wanted to do reviews of Christmas music, and insisted on reviewing the more � unusual songs. Really, everyone�s heard �Jingle Bells� and such a billion jillion times, so why not do something original? I�ve got a veritable slew of Dr. Elmo and Bob Rivers works, as well as a few random CD�s and a few tapes my mom made of this now-defunct radio station that played �The 24 Hours of Christmas� and played anything they could find that related. I treasure one tape that has a song I adore about giving odd gifts like a baseball that throws itself and an invisible costume. And a Wookiee is mentioned in it, and I don�t know why. I�ve never actually found this song anywhere else (I don�t think it�s the official Star Wars Wookiee song, though), but it cracks me up.

* Decorations: I love how everything gets colorful and festive. I love counting off on (links) advent calendars. I love trees and tree-trimming. I like putting up the Christmas train around the tree�at least, I did, but given Dad�s illness I don�t think that�ll be happening any more. Everything looks celebratory and not boringly normal.

* Lit-up houses: I love seeing lights all over the streets at night. They are gorgeous. I adore houses that do something special during the time, too. My hometown has a few legendary houses each year (I still miss the people that put up a bunch of animated figures on lazy susans in their front yard), but the most famous is Deacon Dave�s, which everyone HAS to go take a tour of at some point during the month. It is impressive. I always wanted my house to be one of those very decorated, people-drive-out-to-see-it-specially places, but my parents had no interest. I�m not usually a fan of idle bored driving around, but I�m into it if lights are involved.

* Shopping: I love shopping. I love going through packed, festive malls (though yeah, the lines kinda suck). I love the excitement in the air and all the tempting items on display. I love having an excuse to go! Alas, that didn�t really happen much this year, but maybe I can do some post-holiday malling to spend gift certificates.

* Time off! Nuff said.

* Dressing up: Any occasion to put on a fancy dress is okay by me. You wouldn�t believe how much Christmas jewelry I have. I even have Christmas shoes. If only I had Christmas parties to go to (other than my former place of employment, I don�t know anyone who throws them).

* Presents! New clothes! New books! Toys! Whee! By the way, my mom finally got around to printing my Amazon list this year, and was ticked that it came out to seventeen pages. I had no idea it was THAT much. She�s all �You need to find something else to do with your time.� All I could do was say in a teeny little voice, �Well, you don�t have to get me EVERYTHING.� She�s all �I already bought you a bunch of stuff before I saw this.� Okay, I�m not a total present whore, but what�s the harm of putting stuff on a list in the event she does see it in a store? I know she�s not likely to get me anything off of it, but still.

What Grinches me about Christmas:

* Salvation Army. Beyond the stuff that Bev�s gone into very well, the ringing DRIVES ME INSANE. I�m not kidding. I feel homicidal hearing constant bell-ringing, and it�s outside every store. I�d pay them if they�d stop ringing the bells, but I know better.

* Christmas overshadowing everything else: There are a ton of holidays held during December. I�ve researched them for articles. Yet the only one anyone ever pays attention to is Christmas. There�s almost no acknowledgement of anyone who celebrates something else, and I think that�s pretty unfair. I�m not Jewish, but I�ve always been interested in the religion (I don�t know why), and I think if I were Jewish, I�d be driven bats and be bummed out by all the celebration of something that I�m not allowed to participate in. I just don�t think it�s right that anything that isn�t Christmas gets ignored all the time. Can�t we celebrate some diversity during this month, please, and not leave people out?

* Picking out presents for others: God, this stresses me out like nothing else. Most of the time, I�m a terrible present-giver, or at least my track record isn�t stellar at it. My parents often said �thank you� and ignored a good fraction of the stuff I bought them, friends have been known to swap gifts right there in front of me. I spend the month of December in a haze of anxiety trying to find something, anything that these people will actually like. This is what kinda ruins the fun of shopping, I�m afraid: I see all these great things that I want, yet I can�t buy them, and I can�t find anything to get for others, and end up spending all my cash on stuff people end up not liking. Ugh! This isn�t so much of a problem this year, obviously, but instead I�m stressing on what to make people, and when you�re trying to do a homemade gift for a macho man, that�s a new kind of pain.

* Dad being the mondo-Grinch: Dad doesn�t like Christmas all that much. At least, he doesn�t like anything involving crowds or spending a lot of money or putting up the tree. He usually throws several fits throughout the month, yelling at us all to not buy him anything this year. He doesn�t mean it, which confuses the hell out of me. His being disabled now also adds in more frustration, along with us not being able to do as much fun Christmas stuff as we used to do once upon a time. That sucks.

* Relatives: I�ve gone on about this before, but there�s other stuff involved too, like having to deal with the fighting between my cousin Ron and his girlfriend-now-wife and my aunt, IF they choose to show up, or how Ron�s a complete crankass and gripes about how he has to work on Christmas and New Year�s and plans on arresting everyone he sees that night. Or Mom and Dad bitching about how the presents they got were so cheap and how they�re not going to spend as much on them next year. I like hanging out with Mom�s side of the family better, but alas, Christmas is assigned to Dad�s side. At least I only have to see them mandatorily one month out of the year, holiday wise, and since Ron�s working Christmas that means his whole end of the family won�t be around. One less person to insist on knowing my dating status or to make fun of me, hooray!

* Getting gifts I don�t like: This just makes me all uncomfortable. Whether you get tacky, cheap, ugly gifts (like my aunt and uncle used to do), or six thousand pounds of bath soap (I like the stuff, I do, but I have six years� worth because I get it at every holiday and birthday. And I�m just not that dirty.), or a screaming hot pink sweatshirt with a glowing Tweety on it, you have the awkward dilemma: do you fake liking it, or do you fess up and exchange it? I think Mom gets offended if I don�t like her stuff (Tweety was from her), but she claims I should tell her if I don�t. The both of us just feel funny and out of it. Then we have the long lines of returns to deal with.

I related to Jette�s old entry because to some degree, I feel like I�m getting a bit Grinchier, or at least I�m not enjoying things I love as much any more. A lot of the good stuff is kind of being sapped away a bit. I love crazy Christmas music and I enjoyed writing about it, but that�s now got an association with the layoff situation, and that kinda sucks. I feel like all I should ask people for this year is money and ugly business suits to wear to my future secretarial job, instead of my usual book requests. The one great thing is the time off, but I�m not looking forward to having the lack of job situation rubbed in my face for two weeks while I�m home.

And Dad being more and more disabled each year (I remember thinking at Christmas last year �He�ll be in a wheelchair by next year,� and he is) is just awful. We can�t do as much, he doesn�t feel well, he�s even crankier, and now I feel guilty for not even being able to give him decent amusing gifts and causing him to worry about my lack of job.

Bleah. I know, you�re tired of depressing entries, aren�t you? So am I, but don�t expect them to lighten up any time soon. I�d like some happiness for Christmas, but I�m not getting my hopes up real high about it. Or more like, I think some of it will be nice and pleasant, while other bits will be ugly. Like usual, I guess, just with slightly more ugly.

As for New Year�s, this was a totally Grinchy holiday for me growing up, mainly because I�d see all the people on TV partying and drinking and dressed up and wanted to do THAT. My parents, however, had other ideas. They go to a movie, go out to dinner, and get home by eleven at the latest, have a few snacks, toast the New Year and go to bed. Fairly dull. And being the nerd I was in high school, I had nowhere else to go. I hated New Year�s.

The college years I got to party some. My favorite one was the year I went with the ex to his friends� party. It was romantic and wonderful. The next favorite was the next year, when I went with some friends to a rich girl they knew�s house and we were all dressed up and drinking and giggling. Last year�s, however, was the worst party, as it involved much vomit.

I don�t know what I�ll do this New Year�s. I don�t think I want a date for it, since in my mind New Year�s is kinda linked with the ex romantically, and having another date like that would be weird. (I know, this makes no sense and I can�t really explain it, okay? I�ve just preferred single bashes since then.) My old New Year�s party friends I haven�t heard from in six months, so I�m not counting on them. I�m kinda tempted to beg some of my out-of-town friends to let me stay with them or something (at least call up Demma and Scott, but I don�t know when they get back from their respective relatives� houses and at any rate I don�t feel good randomly inviting myself over quite like that. Not that I think they�d mind too much, but still), but that doesn�t seem entirely feasible, and I don�t know what they�re doing, either.

Actually, staying home with the parents doesn�t seem nearly as bad as it used to. At least there�s no romantic issues or vomit involved there. The only problem with that is that I�ll be stuck at Mom�s official New Year�s Day party, which I hate because it brings all the nasty relatives back over to our house. Not only does it have them, Mom turns into a raging bitch any time she knows family is coming over. What a way to start a new year, huh?

previous entry - next entry
archives - current entry