As you perhaps guessed, I spent pretty much ALL day today (a) playing Chrononauts and (b) reading everything that's gone on the Web since I came back. (And by the way, I love how she refers to the holidays as a final exam for women. No kidding!) Unpacking and hanging up all my clothes, alas, suffered compared to those exciting things. I was up until 1:30 last night checking the thousands of e-mails I got, and finally got around to responding to them today. I heard back from the editor of Flak today, and he sounds interested in me doing the intern position. I wrote him back and sent him some links to my online stuff. I also heard from one of my ex-editors (one not involved in the decision to get rid of my position), and I think she's feeling badly about what went down. She said she felt like it was her fault in some way (I won't get into details here, but it wasn't). I wrote back to her saying that and what else was going on at the moment. It made me feel a bit melancholy, but hey, what are you gonna do.

I also spent a good deal of time on the phone talking to Denise and Jackie. I was filling Jackie in on how my life has become a soap opera once again, and I think she was amazed at all the stuff going on all the time with me.

I was reading this collection today, and related particularly to a couple of entries. By all means, end the year early, I sure wouldn't have stopped you! And having a handicapped relative in deteriorating condition myself, I relate all too well to what this fellow feels now. My mother always brushes off these unfair, sad feelings with "Everything works out for the best, it really does, that's just life and you have to deal with it"-type platitudes, but that doesn't make it better, you know?

While catching up on Metafilter, I read this discussion on lengthening childhood into your mid-20's or longer. Presumably this is bad. Obviously, I'm reading this as one of those childish "young adults" myself. However, given the times we're living it, it's no longer all that easy for some of us (depending on situation) to function as a fully independent adult without taking support from the parents. As Jackie put it tonight, when you're in your twenties, you're kinda screwed, trying to get experience but you can't get hired, on the bottom rung of the totem pole. It's harder in some respects becoming a full-fledged adult these days than it was back in the olden times when you didn't need as much money to live on or have to acquire an expensive education first in order to have a chance at making that money.

It's not all that fun being a childish adult, in some respects. It's got an element of embarrassment to it. I'm not thrilled that my parents are paying my health insurance because I can't afford it, and I do feel kinda uncomfortable that they've spent so much money on me in the last two weeks to make sure I can survive up here without spending all my saved-up-for-rent money on food and interview clothes. But on the other hand, if they didn't do that, I wouldn't be surviving up here All By Myself for very long and would end up at their house or on the street or something, and none of us wants that.

But on the other hand...I do think that people whose parents don't care and throw them out at the age of 16 or whatever are forced to become adults who can take care of themselves (because they have absolutely no one to rely on) much quicker, and that is probably a better thing than this gradual adulthood, kicking and screaming all the way there thing that I'm doing. I don't feel like an adult in the slightest, still. (Then again, I don't think I'll feel like An Adult(TM) unless I'm married, wanting kids and deeply caring about cleaning my house, either.) Mom admitted the other night she suspected that perhaps she wasn't doing me any favors by spoiling me as much as she had, and I have to agree with her. Though in all honesty, I never want to turn down spoiling for any reason, either. I'm selfish like that. See, stuff like this is why I don't want to be a parent- when you're like my parents and you love your child so much and want her to have everything, how could you possibly force her to go with nothing "for her own good," when you know what might happen could be bad? Damned if I know, and I don't think I could do it either.

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