So besides the job I mentioned that I�m not sure I want to apply for, I found another one that I could apply for, paying the same amount of whee money. Also in the registrar�s office, it�s some support assistant job where you work on transcripts and grades and petitions and whatnot. I get much better vibes about it than the other one, perhaps because they ask you for writing samples and I know I can go there. If I don�t get this job next week, I will definitely apply for this one (fortunately the due date for it is a few weeks from now). I�m wondering what kinds of jobs I can apply for if I do get the temporary one- would they wait for me until June? Probably not, right? Oh well, at least I have something to look forward to applying for if I don�t get the other one.

Yesterday was a nice, relaxing, and even fun day, which I spent with Hill. We went out to lunch (crappy Mexican, alas), went home, played cards and watched TV, then engaged in an extremely long and money-filled game of Monopoly (we eventually gave up because we had a lot more money than they even give you in the set) . We even got bored in the middle and got up and went to Wal-Mart to look for more cheap games to play. Alas, we found none that sparked our interest enough to actually buy, though Hill found some cheap clothes and I found, miraculously, a pair of nearly knee-length boots for $10. Since my last pair, which is sadly starting to need a fixup or two, cost me $70, I�m thrilled. (They�re so comfortable I�m actually voluntarily wearing shoes around the house, which never happens.) Then we finished off Monopoly and watched Dirty Dancing.

I hadn�t watched Dirty Dancing for awhile, and whoa. I�d forgotten how steamy it is. Honestly, I couldn�t give less of a damn about any kind of porn movie for er, those purposes (I find porn either gross or amusing. Zero turn-on factor, though.) ,but this movie�s really hot. Bare-chested, dancing Patrick Swayze, yum. Honestly, you don�t need any more than that for me. How many straight guys do you know who�d dance like that with you? That�d be a bigger turn-on than a lot of other things they could do.

You know what I like about this movie? It�s so seductive. How often does that happen in real life these days, either? Most guys� idea of pitching their woo seems to be along the lines of Neal, the sleazy braggart who goes on about how much money he has and why you should be kissing his ass to date him, or Robbie, who flatters you until he gets you alone, and then assaults. And yes, I�m aware that he loves The Fountainhead, which is why I didn�t read it for years. And these are the fellows that are held up to young girls as the men to marry. I think I�d rather be seduced, come to think of it, than having a guy plead his case to me or just plain push me into it. Seduction�s fun, it�s interesting, and it�s a much bigger turn-on. You fall into it. How come guys don�t do that much any more? I suspect it would take a major seduction to get anywhere with me these days, as traditional methods just don�t touch me emotionally. You�d have to lure me in instead of being so bloody transparent. Boys who hump my leg in public, ugh. (You laugh, but when they�ve gotten liquored up�)

That night was fun. Much nicer than a lot of the other opportunities I could have had for the night. It was just what I wanted to do, even if I couldn�t find a nice cheap card game. I really wish I could go to a game store again. Too bad Hill�s going off with a friend to the movies tonight. I�m really not feeling like doing such a thing myself, so perhaps I can curl up with old Buffy tapes tonight. Assuming I don�t get asked to do anything (I hope, I hope). How sleazy am I on that? Pretty sleazy. I�m evil enough hoping Hill goes online for hours or something like that.

You know, I�m looking at this entry so far and going "I had a great night, but what can I really say about it? Practically nothing beyond the basics." It�s the old problem of "How do you write about happiness," I guess. I can go on for days about rants and musings, but having a good time? Nope, can�t say very much about that.

Yesterday was the ex�s birthday. I wished him a miserable one, one in which his date stood him up, his friends found better things to do, and everyone he knows on Everquest is out having a life. (I freely admit to being bitter, it�s fun.) Anyway, I�m reading through 3WA again today and this old thread has been bumped up. It was originally started when I was having issues with dealing with the ex and his shit, and between that and the timing, I posted this very bitter diatribe today about how I should never have tried with any bipolar people I knew in the first place because they�re always going to treat me like shit, and the next time I find out anyone I�m close to is bipolar, I WILL dump their ass immediately. That�s like, the saddest thing I�ve ever posted online, I think, because I tend to like people with some crazy to them, but that they�re so troubled that I can�t possibly deal with them any more.

But let�s face it, I am not the kind of person that those with mental problems want to be good friends with when things go bad. When things are happy and manic and fine, sure, no problem, but once they start playing the push-me-pull-you game, it drives me up the wall. When I have no idea if they still like me or not, it drives me up the wall. When everything has to revolve around them all the time and I�m supposed to keep my opinions to myself no matter how bad things get, I get frustrated as hell. ESPECIALLY when they swear up and down that if I�m having a problem with how things are, I should tell them, when they really don�t want to hear about it. That�s when the friendship is ruined.

I just can�t deal with that shit any more. And if I can avoid anyone with those traits so I won�t have to go to this awful place any more, then I�ll do so. If that ACTUALLY WORKS (which I doubt- it takes me years to find out someone�s got mental issues of that nature. Yes, really, I�m blind.), and that�s what it takes, then that�s what I�ll have to do.

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