(Written on the bus again, 5:30 p.m. I'm trying to write entries during weekends when I have time and then type them up for posting later. More on this weekend will probably go up tomorrow or so. I hope, anyway.)

Yesterday I was kinda having another idiot day at work. More typos, and I think I was really starting to tick people off. Didn't help that my boss came back from vacation that day and she wanted to know if we were ready to officially enter work. It was embarrassingly obvious that my fellow clerk was and I wasn't. However, another coworker nicely hedged for me, and somehow I finally got it together and stopped the typos. And today, I was totally on, awake, and no bungling! Yay! I'm not an idiot like I was wondering about!

Dave's and my phone conversations are becoming more and more random. Beyond the daily events (of which there's not many to report), we eventually got into singing, mentioning that we're playing with phone cords, and regaling each other with tales of bizarre teachers (me) and stories about the dog eating the couch (him). Oddly, he finds my bizarre teacher tales more interesting than his misspent youth. Go figure, I thought I was so dull. Ever realize that if you were speaking in person, your conversation would seem a lot less inane than it does when you're on the phone?

After last weekend, when he started singing "In Your Eyes" to me (very romantic), I have decided that he must see Say Anything. We seem to have a very Lloyd and Diane relationship. Ironically, in my younger days I wrote a journal entry on how I thought that was a great relationship.

One of my bizarrest traits in life is how I have a lovemap. "Lovemaps, which exist in all of us, are the unconscious blueprints that govern the physical characteristics, psychological traits and values we look for in a partner. They are an explanation of how sexual chemistry works. Research suggests that if a man fits a woman physical and psychological lovemap (i.e. the things she values) and she fits his then the sexual chemistry is sure to be charged."

I only fall for guys of a certain specific type and nobody else, which is really weird (not to mention unfortunate for all the fellows who aren't when I try to "give them a chance"). So far there's been High School Ex, the most recent ex and Dave (third time's the charm, right?), which occasional crushes on similar-but-not-exact guys. I knew I had this tendency when I was with the other two, sure, but now that I'm on #3 it seems strange to notice all the similarities.

Dave is more like #1- same age, similar looks, not real academic, love singing, have a brother, of more redneckish ancestry than I am (hey, it happens!), stuff like that. He's not as much like #2, but I have moments when I see him do a particular thing that 2 did and feel weirded out for a moment. Like #2, he's affectionate, but even more so (no complaints about PDA from him!), likes reading a lot of sci-fi, is amused by Jar Jar (aiee!), likes Monty Python, seems to be addicted to the cell phone. Some interests all three of them have. Sometimes I really wonder about myself when I love the same type over and over and over again. Am I trying to recapture the high school relationship or something? I don't think so and don't want to anyway, but I do wonder during these moments of d�j� vu. Then again, I've always believed that inwardly I knew what I wanted, and I do seem to go for the closest guy that fits in my vicinity. Maybe this time I just needed to look elsewhere beyond where I live.

And then, there are the differences.

I'm usually quite weirded out by the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing. It can frighten and confuse me on some levels. I'm always iffy on when things are official (#1 actually wasn't, given the life situations at the time), how to integrate them into my life, what the hell to do about the parents, is there a future, stuff I won't mention here� the list goes on. I am usually very cautious about stuff. I have little rules about these things, such as no parental intros for as long as possible, ditto friends. Wait awhile before getting up to much. Don't even think seriously about a future until you've been together at least a year, so you know it's more likely to last. There's a long list of these things the guys usually get up to deal with.

Dave, however, has managed to um, blast through nearly all of them in an amazingly fast period of time. Damned if I know how he managed it, but he did somehow. And I'm not even very wigged out about this. Maybe it's yet another sign of insanity? Who knows.

I haven't had an official boyfriend in two years. Given how weirded out I was at having one in some respects the last time, I am amazed that this time it seems more � natural, I guess is the word. I don't get all hem-and-haw about announcing this fact to people. I'm not all wondering how it's supposed to work- it just does. Huh.

(On another note�) Gah, the old people on this train are driving me crazy! There's like fifty of them wandering around, getting up and down and up and down and whining about where to sit and apparently not liking what seats are available. Gah. Don't they know the first rule on the train is to just sit down and stay put? Geeez. I sat down here because sitting upstairs last time made it hard for me to get off the train fast enough, and there were tons of seats downstairs. Right after I sat down, they announced that all able-bodied people should try to sit upstairs. Then I felt guilty, but since I get off in a half hour I said fuck it, I'll stay. Next time I'll have to go up and avoid the whining old contingent.

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