You know you're a clotheshorse when you dream about shopping, which is what I did last night. Specifically, I found this lovely orange/yellow T-shirt and pants combo, and then found a black tank top with an orange layer underneath and cutouts in the black later to show off the orange with matching black pants, and I REALLY wanted this outfit. Even though in real life I own nothing orange because it just doesn't look good on me, I still wanted this outfit when I woke up. I have been tempted all morning to arrange a shopping trip to Clothestime (the one trendy girl store in town) to see if I can find anything cute, even if I can't find that outfit.

So we had a staff meeting this morning, and there were some comments along the lines of "budget cuts most likely coming in May, economy improving or not." Gah. Makes me more worried about finding another job here after this one's up. And speaking of this one being up, it appears that we temp girls are plowing through the paperwork faster than expected, and they're getting less paperwork sent in. This job may be up sooner than we thought (like April), unless they come up with something else for us to do. The money for this project runs out June 30, and it was suggested that maybe we could stick around for awhile. Then again, maybe not, who knows. I haven't heard anything for sure, it's all rumor. The boss did come check on how we were doing, saw the smaller piles of paperwork around, and gave us a thumbs up. Whatever that means... It's a real shame that I'm so damn fast when I'm working, but I just can't slow down about it.

Anyway, between the meeting and the conversation afterwards, I'm starting to feel panicky again about the job/money situation. I know of temp jobs opening up in this office, but I can't apply for them during their application periods because I wasn't supposed to be done with this job by the time the other ones start. Now I wish I knew more about when this was likely to be up so I'd know about applying.

In general I'm feeling panicky about these things. Will there be jobs in the summer? Will I even get around to applying for jobs then, or will I be tempted to go on vacation or to the boy's for weeks and then not do anything about it? Can I get unemployment again if this job doesn't last for over three months? Gah. I feel like I need to line up another job as soon as possible to the end of this one or else I won't find one. Or maybe I'm just panicking. Either way, I think I'd better NOT make that shopping trip to Clothestime in addition to the Renaissance clothes shopping trip I need to do this week.

Remember how I mentioned I was reading the indiebride site and having a great time? When I finally heard from Dave, I started reading tidbits to him and he was all "Are you getting ideas here or something on what NOT to do?" I'm like "It's not THAT kind of site, geez." Though he was amused when I told him what Hill said about eloping.

I had another one of those long-distance-sucks moments while talking to him. He had one hell of a crappy day. He'd been housesitting at S&D's in the next town over and didn't sleep all night because he's probably allergic to their rats and was wheezing away. Then he got up to go catch the bus to work, only he doesn't know their bus system and was waiting at the wrong stop. (I've done that so many times in this town myself.) He then had to call a taxi, which was of course late, so he was 10 minutes late to work. He called the boss on the way in to warn him he'd be late, but the boss went absolutely apoplectic at him for it anyway. He didn't get fired (phew), but the boss put him on closing shifts for the foreseeable future because he can't EVER be trusted to show up on time. Oh brother. And then after that, he ended up having to deal with a lot of insane, pushy people essentially all by himself during the morning, and when he finally got to go on break he had some kind of a minor freakout twitching session. The day improved from there, but that still worries me to hear that.

Then I felt guilty that I wasn't in town or at least owning a cell when he said he'd REALLY wanted to call me during that. It seems like when he does have a bad day at work, it's on a weekend, but at least I've been there to do some post-work comforting. And today I wasn't. Sigh. Now I know how he felt when I was sick and he couldn't get there.

It was a definite "good news, bad news" day when it came to him. He kept saying good news, bad news stuff to me the entire time. The good news is that S&D will pick me up so I don't have to take the train out on Friday, the bad news is I have to take the train back. The good news is that in the future I might be able to stay in his grandmother's spare room when I'm in town, the bad news is I'd better stay in it alone. Lord, I am SO embarrassed having my private life up for discussion like that with a grandmother. You have no idea how much this squicks me out. I just want to die when he mentions stuff like that. Not that I don't understand her reaction, mind you. It's just like "Damn, I do NOT want to talk about this."

Bleah. Now I'm home and starvingly hungry, yet I do NOT want to go do the dishes so I can make myself some of my own shitty cooking to eat. Ain't nothing more unappetizing than food made by my own two hands, and I already went out to dinner last night so I shouldn't do it again. Ugh. I am so undomestic it is astounding. It's going to be a fun night, I can tell, especially since I can't get calling Mom out of the way early because "we're not getting home until late." Joy.

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