21 Days of Meditation
2009-04-21, 3:27 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
Here, for your viewing pleasure (actually, yawning), are 21 days worth of private meditation journal entries:
April 1: Had meditation class today, so easy cheat for making myself do it. (Note: so far this has been the ONLY time I got away with that one.) But I had an hour to wait around before writer's group meeting, so I attempted to do it then. Sat around in the arboretum and tried it. Didn't really "get there" mentally too much, but I did calm down. I really emphasized the deep breathing for most of that hour. It seemed to help. Kind of an "easy" day to do it on, though, considering that I had class AND a "dead hour" to spend outside in nice weather. This will be more difficult on a rainy/chilly day, or one where I am busy all day and don't have lunch, or Disneyland...
April 2: Spent lunch outside--it was a lovely day--and meditated outside. I downloaded a program onto my Palm to put the timer on for ten minutes. I will make myself TRY to meditate for ten minutes, regardless of whether or not I can "get there." I liked doing it outside, though it got kind of hot because I did not even try to find shade.
April 3: Checked the weather report this morning and it's predicted to be OBSCENELY WINDY A-FUCKING-GAIN right during lunch. I do not want to be outside trying to do anything in hurricane-a-comin' weather, period. So I guess I will be crafting during lunch rather than basking.
April 4: Saturday, tried meditating out by this random hall I found around 2 p.m. when I was on campus. It was way out of the way. Naturally, noisy people managed to find it anyway.
April 5: My Palm died, thus I no longer had a timer to do my guaranteed ten minutes. Did around 1 p.m. on a random bench by the design offices as I was having a shittastic mood day. Found the timer on my cell phone, but when I was doing the meditation, well...I apparently programmed "ten hours," not ten minutes. So it wasn't a very good session because I kept having to peek at my watch. I wanted to redo it, but ran out of time with everything else I had to do that day.
April 6: Did my time during lunch, having now figured out how to operate the timer on the phone. I really like doing it outside. In other news, class got canceled for this week. I am sad. I am also sad that the weather promises to be rainy shittastic for the rest of the weekdays.
April 7: A little tricky to get it in today. I had my shrink appt. at home from 11-12 or so, and the bus was supposed to come around 12:20, so I figured I'd use that time to meditate. Then I got a phone call, so not so much. Eventually I got back to work around 12:40 (luckily nobody noticed) and since it started raining JUST as I got to work, I had to stay inside and meditate at my desk. Not my favorite thing anyway, but it's quiet enough for the most part.
April 8: No meditation class today, sigh, it got canceled. The weather was still a bit chilly to go outside, so I elected to meditate in the CC (the weaving room is almost always empty) and then spin more yarn.
April 9: Had a booooooooooooring work class this morning, got out around 11:30, and I headed to the CC early.
April 10: I think I did it during lunch again. I am in such a tired fucking sleepy fog (cannot sleep for more than like 3 hours in 2 days) that I do not remember. I think it was about the same as before- meditating in craft center during lunch, it was rainy, I wasn't interrupted.
April 11: Had Mom over, so that was tricky. She wanted to get up early and go buy stuff, I told her I wanted to sleep in, got up and meditated after she left.
April 12: Was dead tired (did not sleep for shit at Aunt Susie's) when I got home late last night, finally just did it when going to bed, i.e. lying on my back doing deep breathing. Did NOT make me go to sleep any faster or better...and especially didn't make me go back to sleep at 1:50 a.m. when I woke up. Continued to not sleep well, combined with having weird dreams where Friday Night Lights had the Ood from Doctor Who come in...yes, really...and just all worried about god knows what no matter how "chill" I try to be.
April 13: So I tried meditating at 5:30 a.m. Still did not get back to sleep, hence why I am posting now.
April 14: Did it around 7 p.m. after driving lesson, on the fourth floor of the library in a back cubicle. Was not disturbed. Then ended up doing it in class again, so more doubletime.
April 15: Did NOT have meditation class, again, on Wednesday. This is disappointing considering the month's theme here. Wednesday's meditation was done outside around 5-ish p.m. during my break.
April 16: Today's was done around 12:40 p.m. during lunch, outside again at the arboretum after I did errands.
April 17: Did it during lunch, outside, got myself burned/tanned. Sigh. I fear my streak will be broken this weekend (early, I'm expecting it to go next weekend) since Mom will be about. Meh.
April 18-20: All three days I did meditation in bed, trying to get back to sleep, in the wee small hours of 6 a.m. or whatever. Didn't work for the sleeping purpose, I can tell you that. All I can say about this is that it's the one meditation method that works to not be interrupted by Mom if she's still asleep.
April 21: Got back late (around 12:40) from my shrink appt/lunch, ended up meditating at my desk again. Nobody interrupted.
So, it is a habit yet? I don't know. Would I miss it if I stopped? I don't know.
What I have learned:
* I do know that I canNOT do The Same Thing Every Day, Same Time, Same Place for this even though the meditation instructor says you should. My schedule is too change-y for that, so I'd rather just do it when I can squish it in.
But here's the thing: I ran into the former manager of the CC (who recently switched jobs) and she was carrying a big ol' display board. I had to ask what it was, and she said it was a new incentive program to do some kind of healthy whatever for 100 days.
So I might as well do this then, eh?