2018-04-27, 9:23 a.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
Friday was an interesting day.
So we have a new Big Boss and she has made appointments with everyone (mostly next week) to talk to them about their career goals, what goes well at work, what you do, and what your top three issues are. I have been debating exactly how to handle this, especially since I don't know the woman and I have no idea if she actually wants honesty or just says it or wants everything happy. If it was Former Big Boss, I'd know that I'd have to keep everything happy. Office politics speaking, I probably should be keeping it positive and happy and not coming off as the problem child that I truly am these days. I don't quite think I can pull that off, though. But you know how some folks are about asking for honesty and not wanting it.
Like I said, I don't know how to handle the situation. (Or The Situation.)
I have been going around asking various folks what I should do. Be honest if she's asking? Be perky and fudge? And the advice has been all over the board on that one.
Upon checking my boss's calendar about something or other, I saw that he'd had his one on one with her this week. So during our one on one, I asked his opinion.
He said, "Tell her everything." He meant everything. (He also pointed out that the other two, well, "you know they'll be very honest." Which probably means they'll be talking about how awful I am in said meeting, I guess.)
He said he was pretty impressed with how his went so he thought it'd be okay, and he'd back me up on all the drama that has gone down. I said that I want to ask to switch offices since (a) there is one open space that I really don't think they are going to hire anyone in and that person in it likes me, (b) I could try asking to trade with someone those people actually like and have her go in there instead (not sure how she'd react to it and I'd have to explain WHY though, which I so far have not done because she is friends with them), or (c) ask to be moved into the call center, which I wouldn't like too much for various reasons but sure beats (d) can I just have an office in the nearest bathroom? He said he'd thought about moving all three of us at different times into the half empty office! I said it needs to be me because the rest of them get along just fine and I am the problem and I am why we can't have team meetings, etc.
Another INTERESTING development with that, though: he said that the others have been wondering why I don't talk any more and if there's a problem. I stopped talking in there whatsoever over a year ago, I wonder how long it took them to notice that? And if I make any noise at all it seemed to bother them, so OF COURSE I DON'T TALK ANY MORE, DUH. Hell, one of them straight up ignores me when I do in the first place. So that they wonder...makes me wonder. I was quite shocked, actually. I thought they would have been like, "GOOD, she took the hint and shut up." (Note: in an sane world I acknowledge this would be creepy, but I am not in a sane world.) He said that the guy had expressed concerns about my customer service skills. Well, who hasn't, but that's much more ah, polite than I would have expected.
So...stuff to think about. So now I am really thinking about asking for a new office for Big Boss Christmas. Though she made a remark about "team building" in the staff meeting that makes me nervous. Unfortunately we are the very definition of "team that needs building," but I think if there's extreme dislike going on, that's not fixable. And everything I've read up on this kind of thing says that you'll only make them madder if you force them to like you or actively try to make nice. I'm not doing that. The damage has been done and I feel that all we can do is mitigate it, preferably by getting me away from them so that I only have to see them in the halls and at staff meetings. They'll be happier, I'll be happier, and that's as good as that is going to get.
So the rest of the story...I found out there is a monthly storytelling event that goes on at a bookstore in Sac on the last Friday of every month, and I went to it. It was a combination of storytelling and poetry, run by a poet (Sue) and storyteller (Mary), switching off on what they did for an hour and a half. I think my favorite stories were the one this lady told about her dead best friend and writing about her after her death, and the one that an older lady told about being "invisible" and then yelling at young idiot guys and scaring them. They called her a bitch and she's fine with that! (I liked her.)
Afterwards Mary asked if anyone would be interested in volunteering to do storytelling, so I volunteered and then we talked about the difficulties of driving and driving exams for a while, and she invited me out to a restaurant afterwards. So I followed folks down there and had a great time getting dessert (orange dreamsicle cheesecake) and hanging out and talking with people.
Mary said she was considering stopping the event after June because she's having a hard time finding people, plus some people tend to be flakes. So she's all "I have to go on Facebook." (Ugh.) Well...we'll see if that happens. I'm thinking if there's enough people that go to this town and to the next town's events, there should be enough for here too...I did also talk to her husband about a bunch of different possible resources, so there's that.
Anyway, I got on with folks and it was lovely and hopefully there shall be more to come later!