"Life is what happens when you're making other plans." -John Lennon.

My career life plan (such as it was) a year ago this time:
(a) Get full time job at newspaper.
(b) Stay in job at newspaper for as long as possible.
(c) Maybe move on to another paper in the area much later, perhaps the alt-weekly, after about three more years of experience or so.

Boy, did this article give me the chills.

"In March, she demoted Datebook columnist Adair Lara, who had built a loyal following with 12 years of precious tales about, well, Adair Lara. At the new Chronicle, Parrish says, "no one is going to be lying on the couch in their warm jammies, writing about themselves."

Lara�s demotion was only one change in Parrish�s drive to cut what she calls "deadwood" in her sections. The push meant everyone under her dominion, from movie critic Mick LaSalle to daily columnist Jon Carroll, had to reapply for their jobs.

But a walk through the Chronicle newsroom indicates that the job shuffling and layoffs continue to be a distraction. Many reporters and editors sit glued to their terminals, watching the "staff basket" shared network folder for angry good-bye memos from departing staffers. At times, it resembles a sort of journalist space movie, the crew in suspended animation, awaiting arrival at some distant, better work environment.

"No one wants to actually leave the office and do reporting," says one Chronicle reporter. "It�s musical chairs here right now. You could be outside when the tune stops, and poof! There goes your spot."

Dare I say it- I'd like to be another Adair Lara. Well, I don't write anything like her, but the "warm jammies writing about yourself" thing sounds like a lot of fun to me. Of course, I'd er, plan on doing other things as well besides that for a career, but that's what I'd like to do. Lord knows my life's enough of a soap (at least, it is on days I'm not at work) so that there'd always be material.

And of course, there ain't no need for people like that in this day and age. Pure entertainment writers of the ilk I love and would like to be are the easiest to chuck out. Yet I'd be bored and frustrated if I was say, dealing with politicians all day, every day. What I did do in my past was bad enough, I don't know how city reporters do it.

But even besides that, it's ugly working in the media these days. Constant threat of layoff, god only knows if you can get another position, low pay, and crap like this going on.

Now I loved working at the paper. I was more bored and frustrated towards the end, but I have always fully intended "at some point" in the future to go back to trying to get a journalism job again. Hey, they don't just hand out columns to bystanders on the street, ya know.

Now I'm really not sure.

Yes, I'm bored right now. Yes, I miss writing. Yes, I miss having actual thought and more than 2-3 things to do. Yes, I miss being able to claim I'm surfing news sites for business reasons. Etc., etc.

But geez, there's a lot of shit going on in journalism these days that I just don't like. It's getting ugly. Not to mention that having a (temporary!) job that pays double what the paper did and even hands out temporary benefits left and right while you're there is, in its own way, very seductive. Especially when you're in a long-distance relationship. Especially when you'd like to take certain classes and learn certain skills (jewelry making, sign language, Renaissance costume making) that college didn't teach you and the classes cost $100 apiece. Especially when you're the e-word and realize that extra fundage is REALLY going to be needed in the next couple of years (and well, ever after too). Especially if you're the likely "breadwinner" of the two. (Me, a breadwinner. Excuse me while I finish choking on that thought!)

I'm not enormously excited about the idea of staying in the area I'm in now, but I do find it interesting in its own way. Being anal about scheduling and classes and planning all these years has developed an interest in this kind of thing. I like the college atmosphere, even if it's a bit stricter than I prefer. The people here are nice, though I do get the vibe that a fair amount of people are in here as a "default" career. My boss used to be in science, my fellow clerk's jumped around all over the place, my male coworker used to be in government until getting the boot, etc. It does seem like a good default career, and the great benefits that you don't get at too many places at this level are impressive.

Then again, after you've been sucked in by the great benefits and three weeks' vacation and nice chunk of pay, what do you do when you're bored? How can you ever pick up and leave again after you've become used to having all of that? How do you financially survive the pay cut? Can you ever get out again and follow your dream of being Famous Writer Girl?

What prompted these musings, you ask? The alt-weekly in Sacramento, the one I've always liked and wanted to write for, is "seeking an experienced, full-time news writer to produce styling and compelling magazine-length stories. Experience as a government or political reporter a definite plus." It's the kind of job I've been intending to get once I moved to Sacramento- or at least, why I want to move there in the first place. Approximately the right job offered at the right time- and should I go for it? Okay, so (a) I can't drive and would have to for this job, (b) haven't done magazine-length before professionally and (c) news isn't so much my main interest, so it may not be my ideal, but... it's a writing job. In this area. In the crappy economy. And yet, I'm sitting here debating whether or not to apply for it!

I've always felt like I was destined to be a writer. Like, this was why I'm not as good at every other skill I've tried. This is why I can't be a designer/actress/etc.- because I have to be this. Am I wasting my talent and my destiny to go chase after money instead? Or is there something else out there besides writing a novel at home (right, and have I worked on mine lately?) or working in the media biz that I could do that would be better? I have no idea.

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