Lord, I feel trivial tonight.

The boy hasn't called me. This really isn't such a big deal- it's his idea to say he's going to call every night, and he usually does. I assume he's off doing something fun (most likely karaoke) and forgot. It's not a big deal, and let's face it, I have NOTHING to say about my day today. I typed a lot of stuff, proofread some stuff, played cards (actually beat Hill once!), worked on a necklace, watched Survivor and Will and Grace, and that's it. Doesn't sustain a conversation for very long at all (especially when he hates reality TV). So even if he had called, I unfortunately had nothing new to say.

This is what sucks about long-distance relationships sometimes. You maintain contact via conversation, but what happens when neither of you have anything to say about your life that day? You want to be in contact, you want to spend time together, but it's so much easier to be together without conversation in person- you can just sit around holding each other or something like that. On the phone you end up both sitting there hoping the other one can think of something to say so you won't have to hang up out of sheer uselessness. And hence why lately I've ended up sitting on the phone with him for an hour and a half while he makes comments about the video game he's playing.

So in short, there was really no need for us to talk tonight. And it's not like I'm mad at him about this or anything, because I'm not. So why do I feel bugged a bit that I haven't heard from him anyway and am secretly hoping for a short call by around 11?

Beats me. Hell, I could just call him if I really wanted to (if I had anything to say), so why I don't, I dunno.

He went home yesterday, which was also the day Claire wrote this. Oh, how I obviously relate. I'm used to it and yet not, as you've seen in here before. I got spoiled seeing him six days in a row, looking forward to seeing him during the day and after work. I know the over a year wait thing was my idea. I'm not ready to move to his town (don't think I want to all that much either- I have more fun there than I do here lately, but there are sleazy elements that I'm not comfortable around) this year, I need time for everyone to get used to the idea, I didn't want to bail out on Hill, my job finding chances are better here, etc.

But sometimes I just wanna whine "This suuuucks." It is very long until our journey plotting is going to go on the same path. This may be why I was going off for awhile on what wedding dates to pick, blah blah blah. Right now I don't know where we're going to live, don't know what kind of a job I'll have or if I'll have one at all, don't know anything beyond (a) move in 2003 and (b) get married sometime after that. So I grab on to what little I know and hold on to it.

I'm still in a period of adjustment from spinsterdom. I still find it hard to believe I'm here and doing this (eventually). I don't use the f-word in conversation very much, and I feel conspicuous when I do. I'm still amazed that a fellow wants to be part of my family instead of fleeing my parents. Am I ever going to get over the shocked feeling? It's just all so unlike me to do this.

Okay, he just called. And had quite the bad day. He lost his ring- it was a bit big for him and somehow slipped off while he was at work. (I'm hoping that location spell finds it.) Some moron came in and wanted to buy an enormous trailer and then went back and forth on buying the thing all day, including backing out at the last minute at one point and then returning later, and everyone wanted to kill him. (The fellow eventually did get the trailer, but he'll never be allowed in the place again.) His boss did his review today and started it out by announcing it was a termination notice, then laughing. Fortunately, he's not fired and the review went fine, plus now that the health insurance bit will be cleared up, he can now go get an eye exam and then go get his driver's license already. Yay to that. And he ended up calling late because he was at Scott and Demma's, where cell phones tend not to work, and Evil Betty wouldn't get off of the phone. Poor boy needs me and I'm not there. Sigh.

Well, at least one of us had an interesting day to talk about!

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