This entry has had one hell of a day and night. Hence why the tone keeps a-changin'.

7 p.m.: I spent today running around the Whole Earth Festival. This is my favorite town event during the year because of the awesome jewelry and craft work that I normally pick up. Last year I had an enormous spending spree there.

I was so excited to go, but it's had some disappointments this year. Oddly enough, I'm not so much into my usual dichroic glass jewelry thing this year, and more into Celtic. Demma has so rubbed off on me in that. I'm eyeing a heart knot necklace, except it's black (which is rather dull) and $40. Oddly enough, this is about the one thing I may go back and get for myself, since I've already got a tie-dyed tank top. I also loved a gold claddagh ring (one had a diamond in it) and other Celtic bands. Too damn expensive, though. There's a lot of gorgeous clothes, but they cost from $60 to $125 (choke) and I think that's just way too much. I saw some lovely headbands, but again, $125. I thought about getting a henna tattoo just for fun, but then thought "Why on earth would I spend $35 for a temporary tattoo?" I saw some beaded bracelets and hair strands, but I can make that at home and the hair strands would get too tangled in anyway.

And then there were the big disappointments. I wanted to buy more ear cuffs (nice wire adjustable ones, not those stiff things most places sell) like I did last year, but they weren't back. Also, I have always wanted a toe ring, but I have tiny little toes and nothing fits unless I get the adjustable kind. And then those break if you walk on them long enough. After I broke my last one, Hill told me about this guy at Whole Earth who did custom ones. I went to him, and he had sizes down as far as a 1.

And MY toe? Even smaller than a 1. Adding to the fun, the top digit on my toe is oddly much larger than the bone part, so he couldn't even get any on me that might fit the middle part.

My toes are misshapen and too small. I suck. I'm a freak. I feel so inadequate, I could cry. I can't EVER wear a toe ring! I thought it was bad enough trying to find rings that fit and bracelets that fit and anklets that fit (hell, I could wear the bracelets usually sold in stores as anklets), but my feet are freakish!

I was so in the mood to shop today, and yet the only thing I got was a lovely deep purple velvet wraparound skirt that only cost $10. I wore that the rest of the day. Realistically, since my job will probably be up at the end of May (my boss says it'll at least last that long, but it's looking like it won't go much past that), I should NOT be spending money... but I wanna. And this only happens once a year!

Now here's the weird thing: I adore this festival and finding things for me to buy. I'm always resentful that I have to spend some of my hard-earned cash on buying Mom presents during this time when I want to buy exotic goods instead. (Good thing Mom's picking her own gift this year, I'd have no idea what to get her in the lot this time.) Yet this year, I saw very little I would really get... and a ton of stuff I do want to get for Dave. You know I must really love someone when I'd rather buy HIM presents instead of me. And normally I hate to buy presents! (He's so easy to buy for, though, plus the reactions I get are great ;)

I REALLY wish he was here! There's several places that sell hats, some are similar to a kind I know he likes (and borrows Scott's version of). He would have had all sorts of fun trying them on. There's a few nice claddagh rings here that might be in his size (damn, it would help if he knew what his ring finger size was), even if they don't have a green heart in them like the original did. There's some really fantastic dragon rings that I know he'd go crazy for. He would absofuckinglutely adore these dragon rings. I am seriously pondering getting some or all of this stuff for him, though I'll tell him about them first before I do. It's hard to shop for stuff he'd be wearing without him around, though. Damn, I want him here and shopping with me! All of Dave's surprise visit stuff must be getting to me- I know better, but I keep hoping that he really did get the weekend off after all and will be coming in tonight (yeah, RIGHT). I think tomorrow I'll go back and hang around some more and go buy Dave stuff.

I just love the hippieness of it all at this festival. Except for their new policy of charging you double for plates and forks and whatnot so that you're encouraged to recycle. In all honesty, I really don't want to have to carry my dirty plate and silverware around with me all day long. Cumbersome and likely to make a mess, you know?

Anyway, I went to a session tonight on "manifesting magic." Which was taught by a very nice lady, but I just wasn't all that impressed. The major lesson was that we were to write down on paper (a) the five people most important to us, (b) our five favorite objects, (c) five good traits about ourselves, (d) five things we like to do, and (e) five goals for the next year and a half. Then you rip them apart into little pieces of paper. This was the annoying bit- she would yell "Throw them away! Throw them away!" every few seconds, and every few you were supposed to grab about 3 of the papers and throw them out until you got down to 3 or 4 left. Whatever was written on those was what is most important to you. Honestly, I just don't agree with at least half of mine. Being nice and being easily entertained are around the bottom of my personal priority list. I love my engagement claddagh, but I wouldn't say its my highest priority either. The fourth one was Mom. I didn't much like how this worked, especially since what was left was essentially the papers that hid under my skirt. Though it might be interesting to try at home, with the words face down and less immediate throwing away so it wasn't so damn rushed.

Aside from the boy having a bad day and having heavy things dropping on him and him possibly breaking a bone in his foot (nasty black bruise) and people being jerky to him at the vampire game to the point where he stormed out and then yelled at the idiot who tried to force him to come back, guess what. He found out he has NEXT weekend off. Not this weekend that he asked for, oh no, but THIS COMING WEEKEND, i.e. the one that I'm supposed to spend stuck in Liverbore with my parents and going to that wedding. Which I can't bring anyone along to because (a) no guest invited and (b) Mom already sent in the RSVP. He is begging to go. I don't think I can beg Mom to beg Rose's mom to let him go, especially given the joys of caterers and shit like that. I know damn well my parents will pitch a fit at me spending Friday night or Sunday here with the boy instead of spending all that time with them, never mind that I'll see them EVERY WEEKEND THIS MONTH. I can't have him come to Liverbore anyway, since (a) my mom is worse than his grandma about such things and (b) there ain't no room in the guest bedroom because she's got so much crap stored in there, even if timingwise this may be the soonest time yet for them to meet. And of course he won't get a weekend off again till God knows when.

I know I'll piss Mom off if I ask to only be home one day (I need their assistance to leave town, since we live in the back end faaaar away from the bad public transport), it's rude to play sick at the last moment and not go, I can't drag Dave over there... Fuck, what a mess.

So Dave called back and said he's been really irritable to everyone but me lately, snapping at them for no good reason- and he's even had the temptation to snap at me a few times for no good reason. Though he restrained himself, knowing that I get snapped at by my parents whenever they're in a bad mood and he doesn't want to do the same thing. What a sweetie. Wish my parents cared like that. I told him if he was in that bad a mood and was talking to me to go get off the phone until he felt better.

And he's not sleeping much lately and when he does sleep a lot, he's still tired, and he isn't normally that cranky, he said. It sounds really bad of me to say this, and shows how short this relationship's really been, but hell, I thought he was always like that. At least, he's told me he's always been insomniac and I've seen him be snappish with his family (then again, I can't blame him for that- that's when I get snappish too), and he can get snappish when people are being jackasses, but who could blame him then either?

And when was he last this cranky? When he first got sick.

I haven't mentioned this much and I'm not sure if I want to mention what he's got or not, but he has an irritating chronic condition that can get worse in the future. So if we're figuring this is a relapse... I'm worried. And I don't much like him feeling like crap without me around. And this whole wedding thing sure interferes with my checking on him in person to boot. Hmm, maybe I could use that as an excuse to get out of it: "My boyfriend's sick, I have to go watch him."

Oy.

I'm worried. I hate that.

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