Chaos Attraction

Astrology Obsession

2004-05-31, 10:47 p.m.

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I have gotten WAY too obsessed with astrology in the last few days.

It all started with this thread being bumped up again. I was intrigued that one person does astrology, and mentioned the experience I had the other day. Which somehow led into discussing Saturn Return. Which I'm fairly sure I've mentioned in previous entries as being yet another thing that gives me the wiggins. And as you can see from that thread, I was all, "What? It doesn't just go from your 28th to 30th birthdays? The fuck?"

So I did some Googling, and found this article. As it turns out, the woman writing in and I have a few things in common astrologically, and I promptly wigged at reading that "oh, you actually get THREE SR's." I about had a heart attack. I then had another one when I found this site and found that I was listed for "July 17, 2005 to September 2, 2007." Why yes, that would be starting a few months after my 27th birthday. Even earlier than I thought. I saw that they had a Saturn Return chart service, and it was a reasonable price, so I figured what the hell, they DID write a book on the subject, so I paid up. I have received notice from them that they are in progress with making up a reading.

Continuing with my insane Googling, I found this site, which was also very useful and has good reading on the SR, especially if you are having it go on right this instant. And oddly enough, she offered to do an SR reading for free, which impressed me right off the bat and is supernice for someone in the biz, I think. So I e-mailed, and here's what I got. (I figure comparing the two readings should be interesting, eh?)

"Your Saturn Return will take place 10-19-2006 thru 11-1-2006; 1-11-2007 thru 1-24-2007 and 7-8-2007 thru 7-16-2007 .

Most people have three periods for the Return. This is the norm."

(Hm. Well, if that's normal, okay then. And what shocks me is how SHORT these little periods are. 12 days, 13 days, 8 days? If that's all it is instead of 2 years of hell, that is not bad.)

"You have a very strong and powerful chart."

(Gotta say here that shocks me. I have been reading up on these things, and I don't seem to have much that is considered really auspicious or shocking or sign-of-God to mine. No grand trines, hardly any conjunctions, no yod, nothing much beyond a shitload of squares. I have The Issues, from what I have seen on But I'll get to that in a bit.)

"Your lesson in life is to learn to include other people in your processes, such as soliciting their viewpoint and listening to their feedback. The Universe wants you to learn that no matter how strong you are, you can only get half the way there this lifetime without the help of others." (Trying.)

"You are also learning to deal objectively with abstract information. Computers would be good for you." (Heeeeeeee. I'm a computer ADDICT. This is too funny.)

"And you are also here to make a heroic stand in the world, to let others close to you, even to worship you and to dramatize human endeavors. You should be very successful some day, especially after you learn diplomacy and tact which the univese will force on you."

Huh. *mind boggles* Dramatize human endeavors, oh, definitely. Worship me? Huh. Short of my parents and the occasional boyfriend claiming I'm some sort of higher being when he's in that kind of a mood, that's not too common. Huh. Does this mean I'm going to be famous? (There's this thing about Leo that keeps coming up in my research saying that means you have to have some creative fame job.) But hey, I thought I had diplomacy and tact, dammit! Unless I'm really mad and stop caring and blow up at someone, anyway... but that's not too often.

Hm. Not sure what to make of this, really.

In related news, I was going to stay at home all day and paint myself with henna and watch Sex and the City DVD's. Which I did, but I also went book shopping, and among a few books for vacation, I found The Art Of Predictive Astrology, which I already highly recommend, even if some stuff is way beyond me and most of it involves looking at predictive transits, which I can't really do short of coughing up a lot of money (wah).

Here's what I've picked up from the book already along with what I could figure out from

* I want guys who are romantic, gallant, self-confident, dramatic, generous, and outgoing. Okay, that's hot.

* I have a shitload of squares in my chart, which are supposed to be big motivators. This is especially true if you have them in Saturn, and I have two, and leads to you being all Superwoman-productive.

Even more amusing: moon square Saturn means you have mother issues, and Venus square Saturn means you have love issues. Who's surprised?

Even worse: "The Venus-square-Saturn person is almost always bitterly disappointed in love...Any Venus/Saturn aspect will bring into the life at least one deep disillusionment in love." The author claims she tells her clients with this that it just means that love can come late for them, but other people have been known to tell them they just will never find love in this lifetime. The latter does not surprise me.

* If something isn't promised in your natal chart, you won't get it. If you don't have the right lucky aspect, you'll never win the lottery. If you're going to be married multiple times, it'll show up. If you're ever going to get divorced, it'll show up. The number of children it is possible for you to have up to five (higher up, well... I forget what she said on that) will show up in your chart in the fifth house.

The good news is, I will be having no children. Yeehaw! The bad news looks like I'll be married twice and have one divorce. Aw fuck. But at least I will marry for money. Yes, really, a sun in your seventh house of marriage means that someone else gives you money. Har de har har, the irony.

* Divorce is when you have (among other things), (a) strong natal Uranus aspects in your chart, which I do ("Uranus is a selfish planet. It wants things on its own terms, so a person with strong Uranus energy can have a difficult time understanding what he or she needs to do to make an intimate relationship work." Also, "A prominent Uranus pushes the person to be free and live life on his or her own terms."), (b) Mars square Uranus, which I also have. Though I won't WANT to get a divorce- "People with fixed angles, especially Taurus/Scorpio on the first and seventh houses, find it almost impossible to leave a marriage. It is a til-death-do-us-part experience for them."

(The funny thing being this woman's been divorced and remarried, and thinks it's great to have that in her chart. She thinks it beats the marriages where people should split but they won't and can't.)

* Saturn in your tenth house means you can have great job success, but with career frustration/slow career recognition. Well, that makes sense.

More musing to come, I'm sure, but it's 11:30 and I should kick my ass to bed.

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