2005-06-08, 1:03 p.m.
So, there's this odd "astrological poetry" (for lack of a better word) page I read every day or so. The fellow seems to be commenting on whatever astrological aspects are going on in the world in poetical form. Some days he does better than others, but I've gotten into the habit of posting the good ones on the blog, just to save them. (Note: the page changes daily, so nothing's permalinked.)
Anyway, I wanted to share with y'all the stuff he posted from the last three days. (And if he keeps posting anything else good, I may come back and add it in here post-today.)
by all means
it probably has to be spelled out for some people
The New Moon in Gemini
for those of you who received the pacifiers
Ah, yes, the parental issues always rear their ugly head when it comes to the rest of my life.
I do feel "something pulling at me like a body at the bottom of the bay" (ew on the imagery, btw), somehow. Much as I hate to admit it, it's the old urge to go refrigerator shopping. Not in any kind of "I'm horny" way, but more in an intellectual sense. Which is nice because I don't have THAT going on, but the intellectual curiosity about refrigerators coming back annoys me.
And for the record, as far as I know, nobody's interested in me these days, beyond the dude who was trying to pick me up at Robotmedia last weekend that I fled from. So sue me if I'm female and sitting at an event alone, that doesn't mean I want to acquire someone!
I still don't want to go jumping in and taking chances on anyone, though. I am not at all interested in dealing with someone else's emotional baggage or trying to save someone. If the dude can't save himself without my help, I am not going there.
And the triangulation? Yeah, I can figure out what that means- the old "You like him/them better than meeeeeee!" pushmepullyou crap. Ugh! Just what I don't want. And I'm so bloody tired of "The right guy won't do that/have those problems/whatever" bullshit being handed to me. Everyone's got baggage that gets handed to their SO upon hooking up- that's "the reality of relationships", all right. I probably have enough baggage that I shouldn't be judging other people's.
And that "bright future?" That's after Dad dies. Not now. (Ugh, really depressing thought.) I can't fly away from that. I don't really want to haul that along with me while I fly off to meet a bunch of men or something.
I wonder if I'm in denial here, or what.
Someone told me the other day that I deserve my own life and that I deserve to be happy with a guy without having my parents strangle the life out of me. And that I should be open to possibilities, even if it's only a Mr. Right Now situation.
Yeah, well... deserve doesn't have much to do with what you get. And to be honest, I don't get the point of "Mr. Right Now's" coming in and walking out too much.
I think it's a good thing that school's about to end, and for a few weeks the campus will be deader than dead. No distractions about to lead me into having stupid thoughts that do me no good.