Chaos Attraction

Improv Jam #7

2015-09-17, 10:58 p.m.

So we had Some Announcements at work. Basically they are diverting a section of the office (not mine) into starting to work on a project that I used to do. And they are planning on hiring 3(!) analysts! Theoretically, anyway! And if anyone here wants to apply... However, they don't seem to know what the persons involved would do and they possibly want to hire way higher levels of eligibility than I have, so...and to be fair, it's not to their advantage to let me out of my current group because they'd be even worse off than they already are.

You know, the usual. I keep swearing I won't apply for jobs in my office because it sucks so hard when they hire someone else in the office instead (and rub it in), but I don't qualify for much else, so...

I don't know. As usual, I should not get my hopes up.

In other news, I went to Cage Match and Improv Jam tonight--I think this is my seventh time performing? Anyway, Cage Match was delightful tonight because the ladies of Birdstrike Theatre--the college improv troupe in my town that I desperately wish I could join except I am too old--were a competing team, calling themselves "Boobstrike." And they were awesome. One of them has started performing here and brought her friends, and they were awesome. They were trying new things, like at one point sitting on the stage talking about performing there (and then one hopped into the audience and started heckling), and at one point they broke into a song about sending small children off to war. They were the first non-house team to win at Cage Match! HUZZAH!

I am pleased at my performance at Improv Jam tonight. After the suggestion for our team was "What would you name your own beer?" and someone yelled out his own name, I got inspired to do a monologue about the CC and Cunningham Muffins and the T-shirt we got based off of that video. So one guy stepped up and was a baker making muffins out of aluminum and glass, and I was saying things like "How do you go to the bathroom?" "Very painfully." Also, he said his mother used to make things like this for him all the time. "Is she still alive?" "No, she died of lead poisoning, but I'm sure that's not relevant." He finished off by actually making something you could technically eat--cardboard pizza with scraps on top. "Are these fabric scraps? You could almost actually eat this."

And in a later scene, one guy was...basically being very strange to another guy is the best way I can describe it. Early on the second guy got forced out of his chair by the first one, and I started pulling the chair away, moving it, moving the other chair, and generally making the second guy think the place was haunted. It was great fun. By the time he sits down again, I moved the other stage chair behind him, so he picked it up and grabbed it so it wouldn't be taken away. Adorable!

Anyway, I am in a super good improv performing mood tonight and it is excellent. I just want to remember this for later, especially since next week at this time is one of the worst work days of the year and I may be getting stinko drunk instead of driving out.

Other fun performer moments and quotes tonight:

* "In Texas, road kill means armadillo."
* One guy talked about the time he was picking out cats and apparently one climbed into his shorts while he was on the toilet. "I yelled out, "Hey guys, you gotta see this!" And then I was all, why did I say that?"
* Molly did quite the monologue about how she had to wear slacks today to a country club and hates them and hates pants shopping in general now that she has a behind. It was rather tragic and sad and also funny.
* Final line of the night: "My bra is paper mache and you can hit it with a stick."

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