Flirting With Whats-Her-Name
2019-11-21, 10:52 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
My shrink’s reaction to yesterday’s O RLY moment: “Wow...people change?”
There are Issues that have been discovered with regards to kids and costume changes and dress rehearsal. Namely, that the playwright did not leave enough time between the “recess” scene where the kids are all on at first and then almost immediately have to put on a Thanksgiving pageant in different outfits. Not only are we assigning a bored adult backstage per kid (I got Jackelyn, who is a delight to dress), Scott and Cameron now have to do “improv” and make up having some conversation to kill time while the kids get dressed. Awkward! Especially when he asks a French chick about celebrating Thanksgiving.
Weeks ago, I watched Linda order an electric menorah. I found out on Wednesday that she hadn’t. An electric menorah was waiting onstage come Thursday, but (a) it has no on or off switch, and (b) has to be turned on by plugging it in, (c) with an extension cord. Drew the stage manager will have to time turning that on correctly at the end, which sadly I can’t see from being backstage.
In other news, somehow someone got a hold of a 48 star flag within 24 hours. It was providence, Robert said.
“I’M GOING TO USE MY OUTSIDE VOICE!” -Germaine
“You did a dance move!”
“I sat on Trent’s lap yesterday and I asked Scott to take a picture and he said he’d never take a picture of that. But he did.” -William
“You wanna trade dresses?” -William to Alexis
“I want lipstick next.” -Trent
Dona is stressed out because Jesse wants her to go to a dinner on Saturday night instead of being at the play. “I’m not going, but he doesn’t know that yet.” To which I thought, yeah right, you’re going. (I called it.)
“It’s lawless here.” -William
“Any little girls who want to be a gorgeous beauty?” -Germaine
“You have amazing Cupid bow lips. God was nice to you.” -Germaine to me as I let her do some makeup on me.
(on Shirley’s line, “Do I remember?”) “That’s the entire point of this play, isn’t it?” -me
“Bianca and Kenneth have an energy around each other. It’s kinda cute.” -Germaine
“That’s what I always thought about teaching middle school -- would drive me nuts.” -Germaine after recounting some joke about how St. Peter sends all middle school teachers to heaven.
As Scott drops a bunch of change out of his pants: “Scott defeated by all the things in his pockets.” -William
“I wouldn’t say that Jesus had a big biker beard.” -William
“So you’re the turkey and Jesus? LUCKY!” -William to Izzy
As the Pilgrims sway back and forth: “This is my favorite dance.” -William
“King James looks pretty bored.” -Bridget
“You’re going to regret it for the rest of eternity that you wanted to help them.” -me watching Squanto do his lines.
“People buy all sorts of strange things online.” -William
“I still get stuff from Frederick’s of Hollywood.” -Dona, after costuming for Calendar Girls.
“He’s too busy flirting with whats-her-name.” -Germaine on you-know-who and you-know-who.
“Watching her cuddle a pillow isn’t doing it for me.” -Germaine on Josie currently using a pillow as baby Jesus.
“Don’t eat in costume!”
“People younger than me don’t know how to do anything.” -William, saying he can’t sew on a button and gets made fun of by his family.
There was discussion of some previous guy in the company who did skeezy shit, like “sleep in here while the women were changing” and “he insisted on kissing Sarah and she wasn’t having it.”
Germaine’s favorite role was Auntie Mame. Of course.
Bridget poked herself in the eye the other day and it still looks very bad, pinkeyeish. She claimed to be hiding in the corner to not gross everyone out. Robert: “Bridget looks like she’s about to sell matches.” I offered to loan her the ski mask.
Scott kept working on the set and was late to enter. Trent: “He’s gonna stand there in his skivvies.”
During the improv, Scott can’t help but pick up a French accent. “I’m a vocal empath, unfortunately. It’s an issue.” He also said “ETA,” which is not period.
“Would you be offended if we put up a poster of Justin Bieber?” -Anita to Amelia (who plays the modern day Clara).
“He’s such a ham.” -Dona
“It used to be a hotbed of enigma.” -Germaine on the karaoke bar
“You know, Santa Claus could double as a robber.” -Robert
“That’s ridiciallyus!” -Abner.
“This show’s a mess theologically.” -Jesse
“I feel like we fast forward on Scrooge’s character development.” -me
“The adults got weird for a moment, but you’re fine. The adults are always weird. Except William. William is never weird.” -Cameron
We now have to do the bows to the sounds of Bieber. I object!
“I’m so loose. Don’t let that get around.” -Robert
Apparently Cameron keeps crashing into Scott and banging into his teeth during the kiss. The romance, y’all. Scott called her “the general definition of a knockout.” Double entendre there, I’m sure.