Chaos Attraction

Last Day Of Feeling Good

2018-11-25, 6:29 p.m.

Turns out I got a parking ticket after all because now it came in the mail. Despite my reading the instructions and it saying "post the pass on the driver's side," it looks like they checked the passenger side according to photos. I was going to argue with this since I have all my proof of purchase, but since I didn't take a photo of the pass at the time I put it up, I figure they'll just tell me I have to pay it anyway and I have no proof. There is no point in arguing with anyone because I am going to lose and there is nothing I can do about anything that bothers me anyway. All of the power is on their side, of course.

Today is my last happy day for a while. I have really enjoyed having these two weeks (almost) off. It's been so relaxing and lovely to just be myself and not be pissing anyone off by existing and not having too many social demands on me. I didn't do much today--I exercised and hiked around town again for the first time in a while. I went to some thrift stores and got some pants and a holiday shirt, I looked at ugly holiday sweaters some more, I got groceries (no lettuce around other than iceberg and spinach these days), I dropped off clothes at the SPCA, and I spent way too much time at the dollar store trying to figure out what kind of LED candles to put into a menorah for Loretta. I never did figure out if I wanted tapers vs. tiny tealights and ended up just buying everything (it is the dollar store, after all), I will need to figure out something. I'm not sure what. Loretta likes weird menorahs and so do I, but right now I'm a bit stumped. And need to have something done by about Saturday or so...

I also got a lot of writing done, including my storytelling for Friday because the theme is "At the Table" and I have been stumped as to what to do because I don't really have any crazy table/Thanksgiving stories. But Mom mentioned the time I had to eat a bunch of sushi without knowing what it was and then I was all, "oh, THERE's an idea." So I wrote that up for Friday's show. I should probably rehearse a bit for what I'm doing on Saturday since I plan on doing something different--probably Disney rides again--there. Mom made some vague noises about wanting to come on Friday, so we'll see. My storytelling friends are all going to see Paula Poundstone on Friday night (I will politely say that Paula Poundstone is Not My Jam) instead, so oh well there.

I wish I had done (more) job hunting or vision boarding (I did a little) or otherwise figured out something else to do with my life. I am now on to reading a bunch of career books and they are all about "BE AN ENTREPRENEUR! BE A CEO!" I can certainly see their logic and enthusiasm for such, but they have no answers for people who say, suck at math or don't want to be a CEO. (I hate CEO's. Fuck you people in power who lord it over everyone.) I know, I know, run your own life, etc. but that just does not sound fun to me to have to figure all that shit out myself. It seems like the options are boring day job or run your own business and nothing else exists. Ugh.

I am going to go back to wishing for death starting oh, tomorrow. Whee. I will miss feeling good/okay about myself again and getting sleep and not having to be raring to go at 7:30 a.m. Sigh.

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