Chaos Attraction

Reviews and Rehearsal

2019-11-27, 12:49 p.m.

Bev’s review of the play in the newspaper came out! Overall it was a good review and even mentioned my name even though I do next to nothing! So that was nice. On the other hand, there was a plot detail she missed that was actually in there (yeah, it’s brought up that Jesus is Jewish), and hoo boy, did my castmates Have Thoughts on things like that later. Ah well, still saved it for future reference/sent it off to Mom. I also laughed at the “Jesus beard was too big, covered up her loud voice” bit because she should have seen the thing before it was pruned. (My coworkers were all, “what, no rainbow beard?”) There was also a review in the theater town paper that I wasn’t in (I get the feeling that guy is Known to the crowd, and also his play got in the 10 minute play competition, so they expected good) and other than commenting that Mrs. A could be Mr. A’s daughter (legit), was also good.

I saw a sight that was incredibly local today: (a) the guy who works in my building and bills himself as a “wizard” walking around in his cape, passing (b) the Whymcycle guy riding his high wheel bike, while (c) some campus vehicle was riding behind it, and the girl in the front seat was clearly filming/photographing him on her phone.

Seriously, why does anyone insist that we continue with Business As Usual on a day or night before a holiday when everyone just wants to leave already? We weren’t allowed to leave before 5 because “HR said no,” but Luis came by to visit and said the office he’s temping in let him out by 3. We even had to interview a potential future permanent manager....which turned out to be interviewing our current interim manager! Nobody warned me about this one so I had no effing idea what was going on, sheesh. It went very well for her. She’s beloved here already and nobody has a bad word to say about her, so uh...good luck, other candidate, you might need to shit gold like a Lannister to win out here.*

* Note: I found out that the other candidate has the same name as my former bully. I am hoping that’s just a coincidence because good lord, being a manager would absolutely fry her brains and I cannot imagine that she would have applied for this. Unless this was another “internals only” posting, which I didn’t think it was, but who knows?

Pickup Rehearsal:

I’m surprised that almost everyone showed up tonight. We had one kid missing (I played the innkeeper in her stead, Josie did her role as “fortune teller” and said she already had the lines memorized) and that was it. After switching to costumes for 5/6 days of rehearsal, it felt weird/like backsliding to not be doing it in costume tonight. Anita insisted we use the green room still, but it was freezing (I was told that someone was literally using it as a freezer to store milk?!) so that wasn’t real pleasant. Well, the adults were cold and in their coats, but the kids were all in T shirts and leggings and just fine. What the heck, kids?


Gail brought Robert a box of “untranslatable German” cards. “Untranslatable! I love it!” he said.

The community center has had about 70% of the food stashed in there cleared out, leading William to say, “I feel so empty without my potato sacks.”
“Your friends are going to be eaten.” -Cameron
“Don’t say that!” -William

“Are you guys excited? No costume changes now.” -William to the kids.
“We’re lazy today.” -me
“Yay!” -Jayden

“What do you want on your tombstone? Because it looks like you’re about to die.” -Cameron to Scott, not enjoying the freezing cold temperatures.

“Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night going, “God, Bieber?” -William
“You’ve got Bieber fever.” -Cameron
“I considered not coming so I didn’t have to hear Justin Bieber.” -Robert
“You could have come late.” -Cameron

“No punching things.” -Cameron to kids

After establishing that Jayden is 12: “You’re old enough to work in a coal mine now.” -William
“Maybe 80 years ago.” -Scott

“Abner, creating grievious bodily harm.” -Cameron

“I like how Jackelyn dressed as insane as I do today.” -me noting that she has on a tie dye shirt and bright patterned leggings and a rainbow jacket.

“How come we’re all in parkas and sweatshirts and the kids are in next to nothing?” -me

(Drew) “got tired from his long, long commute here. He lives down the street.” -William

“Most people with seven cats aren’t that sane...” -William

William on Laure: “...drugs from the 70’s. She and (That 70’s) Scott will always go back to that.”

“Good job simulating the dressing up.” -Robert

“You mean we actually have to do the thing that we want to do?!” -William on going to rehearsal tonight.

I had Alexis explain what the hell the Mafia game the kids play is, and basically it’s the same game that Jughead did on Riverdale like two weeks ago.

“Someone said Cowabunga!” -Robert noticing some non period improv. I gather Anita put the smack down on on that.

“I like when one of my most liberal friends and most conservative friends like the same thing.” -William

“There’s a lot of weird rules in this show that I’ve never had.” -William on the no phone rule

“I love cemeteries.” -Bridget

Bridget suggests that the reason everyone’s here tonight is that the parents wanted to get rid of their kids for a few hours.

“Everybody sleep!” -kid
“That’s a great game.” -William

“Now, Robert, don’t steal any of the cans.” -William
“I was looking at the green beans.” -Robert

“I’m a star.” -Kenneth.

During the notes section after act 1, Anita addressed with the kids that (a) we had good reviews and some people cried, and (b) the “special lady” she was referring to was the reviewer.

“Who was that special lady?” -Anita
“Hillary Clinton!” -Trent

One of the kids said that her relatives cried.
“Did they tell you why?” -Anita
“That’s an important distinction. They could have cried because we were bad.” -Cameron

Anita asked the kids what the message of the play was. Some uh, answers....

“Her voice is the loudest.”
“Not to discriminate because of religion.”
“Anybody can do anything.” -Arlo (Har, interim boss said that to me earlier today, though I had to point out that uh, realism.)
“Let your voice be heard.”
“Accept change and put wants aside for family.” -Amelia

We were warned that the award association (Elly) judges are coming for the next two weekends. This required some explanation as well, as Anita compared it to the Tony awards.
“If we win this, can we go to the Tony Awards?” -kid

“I didn’t win, it was rigged.” -Trent on his nomination. (I guess Scott the photographer is the only one who won?)

Anita talked about a play they did called Seven that Janene was in: “And it’s not the movie Seven, don’t go there, it’s a horrible movie.”

On the topic of “dropping it like it’s hot,” whatever that’s referring to....
“I ripped my underwear doing that. Two nights ago.” -Kenneth
“That’s not fun. Nor advisable, sir.” -Scott

Scott did Santa in the voice of Batman, of course.

Bridget checked the Internet and said there was a CATTLE spill on I 50 in both directions. Daaaaaaaaamn.

I’m not sure why “We wish you a merry flixmas” was being sung by kids, but there you go.

“Go Shirley, it’s your Hanukkah.” -I have no idea who said that bit.

Our song tonight went horribly. Robert is still missing his lyrics, Bridget didn’t bring hers, and both forgot the lyrics and cracked up laughing. I was waving the lyric binder in their faces by the end. Anita’s response: “Are there shot glasses in the green room?” That’s now my favorite line from this show.

“That was very unprofessional of me.” -Bridget

William said that in the other production of Coney Island Christmas, they don’t have a bearded lady, just a sad cardboard cutout. He also reported that yes, Laure is in it and the couple running that show have broken up. Awkward! But William declared it karma after they got together by cheating.

Cameron had to explain to a kid why they didn’t kiss tonight.
“Does she usually judge your aim?” -William
“She does.”

“She loved MY beard.” -William on the review

“Pipe down. Honestly, Bridget, hold it together.” -Cameron

At the end of the night, Anita finally noticed that the script said that there are red and green decorations up...and ours are not. (I’m waiting for her to notice that Shirley has curly hair in the script next.)

Kenneth apparently improvised by saying “holy sweetpeas.” Someone else said, “I came up with holy crackerjacks.”

“Everyone bounces when you drop them at the right angle.” -Cameron

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