Coney Island Christmas Night 4: Have A Great Black Friday!
2019-11-20, 11:16 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
I hung around Mom’s for several hours doing some minor Christmas shopping at Big Lots and other semi divey cheap stores, and we had a great time turning on the obnoxious toys and then filming them. There were two drunk Santas (one with a red Solo cup and the other one I think was "it's 5 o' clock somewhere!"), a sexy dancing cactus doing Feliz Navidad, a reindeer with a gun singing "Hit Me With Your Best Shot," a "rappin' llama," a shark that swam around wanting to eat people, and a dancing poop. That was the worst of the bunch and it was bought 5 minutes after we filmed it.
And then we went to Burger King and tried the Impossible Burger. I suppose it tasted like real burger, if a bit flatter. I doubt I would have noticed a difference if I was taste testing. However, I don’t love me some burger taste, so it’s had for me to vouch for it.
Also, at one point Mom said she needed to get some tequila and I was all, “well, there’s something I thought I’d never hear.” It was for some kind of...prank about somebody spiking Roger’s drink....? Frankly, the explanation did not make sense, but I was amused at Mom buying so much alcohol anyway beyond the tequila. Who knew she went to BevMo enough to have a card?
I then went back home for the show. We set up the tables and I watched a kid try to pants Trent. My bow tie somehow disappeared but happily they had a spare. We folded programs for a while.
Germaine on Bev’s review: she said that she’d heard Bev say to save your money on some shows in Woodland, so we did pretty well.
Robert brought his ukulele and he and Scott sang “Take On Me” and “Still Alive.”
Gail brought back in the untranslable German cards and talked about going to a conference in Germany and said that once the Germans got drunk it was like Jekyll and Hyde. They were doing karaoke and “they flower.” We also told Gail that Robert sings “99 Luftballons” in German (she hadn’t heard of it) and somehow I have written down that the song is about shooting at balloons and it kills everyone. “How Germanic!”
(Actual meaning here.
Scott and Gail are talking about something or other involving German words and the word joy (I don’t recall exact context). Cameron is asked, “how would you define joy?” (note: something that is asked of her in the play, and her character gives an answer about “happiness? but a special kind of happiness.”)
Cameron’s actual answer to this IRL: “I don’t.”
Gail looks at some word about liking to look at ruins and declares, “Shows German at its most delightful.”
Scott did an imitation of Sassy Santa.
William suggested that since he and Izzy had (bushy) beards, they are the only two that could trade roles. “I’m Jewish, I can’t play Santa, my mom won’t let me.”
Frances, the other sister of baby Lena, watching Anita tell the story of wanting a baby in the show on stage again: “I hate this part.”
“Christmas is coming in three and a half weeks.” -Germaine
Somehow after Thanksgiving there are still leftover cans in the green room.
Josie dances to Bieber backstage, Scott pretends to play baseball.
Amelia’s line of “of course I do!” I follow up with, “I don’t have anything else to do but dance to Bieber.”
Trent and Alexis started yelling along with the backstage hawkers, which threw us off a bit.
Me on Shirley’s line about dipping her pinky in the brine: “We need to get that girl a hobby.”
Oops, the barrel we use as a pickle barrel is showing the wine side! Drew had to somehow go fix this.
“I’m just dying for some canned beans.” -Dona
During tonight’s improv, Scott started explaining the concept of how stuffing works, which was a big hit with the audience for how weird it sounds. “Well, you have to remove certain parts of the bird....” and “You have to shove it in the turkey...”
“Okay, they’re liking it, time to milk it out.” -Scott, later on.
“You look beautiful, Rachel.” -Germaine
“We’re lucky he’s not lording it over us all.” -me on King James (Jayden)
Germaine claimed our oldest kid is 14 (in reality, it’s Mark at 18). “Oldest kid is 30, meaning me.” -William
“I liked how Rodney called it a lumberjack beard.” -Eliza
The kids love the “JESUS CHRIST?!?!” reaction back here.
(As Mr. Hilton says “is there anything I can do?”)
“Germaine, am I a Winters all star?”
“I’m always awkward, so.” -Cameron
“What children haven’t done the food donation? I said CHILDREN.” -Anita, I presume WIlliam was volunteering again.
“Excuse me? I rescind my apology. I did not hire a bearded lady with attitude.” -Anita
Scott starts doing Santa in a New York accent.
Scott on Santa roaming around the desert: “Your helpers are going to be Jawas.”
There was a debate about why choir isn’t said like it’s spelled.
“It’s both cute and funny, which is the best combination.” -William on the Wise Man scene.
Those hanging out in the green room who have been actual teachers think Scott does it well.
“Scott looks like he’s going to propose to a 7 year old.” -me on the scene in which he’s on one knee holding up the ladder that the angel stands on.
“That’s ridicilliyus!” -Abner
“It’s like a hundred baby elephants entered the stage.” -me
Dona wandered out halfway through to go watch the play with friends, and she’s breaking the phone rule without even being in here, when her phone rings.
“My middle name is Michael Jackson.” -William
“NAUGHTY!” Robert just decides to yell this full out when the kids sing about asses. He claims he’s been doing that every night but this is the first time he did it loudly.
“I’m an angel! LITERALLY!” -not sure who said this, most likely Jackelyn going by the costumes, though.
“Well, farts are gasoline.”
“Ixnay on the latinay pigay.” -Scott to the kids.
During the bow, Jackelyn yelled out, “Have a great Black Friday!”