Chaos Attraction

Family Lunch

2021-12-13, 10:17 p.m.

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Cast list as of November 2019

(covering the events of Sunday)

Yesterday's video is uploaded here.

So supposedly this whole family lunch got scheduled so that 2 out of 10 people (I note the other 8 live within an hour of each other, we were making snark about how it was smart of me to move here from the Bay Area) don't have to drive too far. It was scheduled for lunch so that people would finish driving before a big rainstorm that was supposedly happening Sunday night. It had to be an outside restaurant because they want to bring the dog. So....the rainstorm started LAST NIGHT and they're not even bringing the dog now. (And indeed, it was too wet to do outdoors, no tent out there.) That said, the drive down there was pretty much sprinkle-y and not bad, it was (of course) the drive home that was scary wet and backwashing into my face everywhere. I'm typing this after I got home, WHEW, now I can at least be out of the total wet for a few hours.
Last night I lost my new Christmas mask--has Santa riding unicorns on it--and was bummed out. I had put it into my bag and then presumably it fell out before I got home. I drove by Rae's before leaving and found it sopping wet in the gutter, but it was save-able. (The KN95 I had tied into it, not so much.) So I've washed it and it's not lost, huzzah. Which is great because they are sold out at the store I got it at now.

The family lunch went great, actually. Like "gee, I wish these people stayed in contact more/were more into us, because I'm really having a good time with these conversations" here. Talked about people's jobs--Cassie has 5 months to go in Tennessee before graduating and can't wait to go somewhere with more to do than Dollywood, Kristen is moving to Boston for a fellowship job for 1.5 years, Alicia has her own practice now in a safer location than where she used to work, talk of running one's own business, Travis's job hires and he now has a Tesla (I was all "You poor baby!" when he said he gets grumbly about having to go to a gas station instead of plugging in the car when he gets home). We really did the "kids table" thing, I think--also talked about the joys of getting therapy/insurance, what's going on at our alma mater since most of us here went there, TV shows, how they're going to Disneyland next weekend, etc. I really enjoyed it. It's entirely possible that my relatives are just better in person around a table than anything else? Kristen said some stuff about keeping in touch, but who knows there.

Occasionally I would hear some outburst from the "adults table" end, like Mom suddenly being all "I have raccoons in the yard and the lawn guys won't pick up the poop" and my aunt being all "those dogs have all kinds of cancer," (Cassie the future vet wasn't thrilled at this bit of conversation) and mom again, "I wouldn't want a white car because there are too many white cars out there." (Guess what I have, but yes, I agree.) Later my aunt was going on about how she thinks people get wheelchairs at Disneyland for non-handicapped reasons and my cousins were all "PLEASE STOP WITH THIS CONVERSATION IMMEDIATELY" and Travis was all "pretty sure people show doctor's notes to get the scooters."

After that, I made a brief run to the yarn store because I'm *almost* done with Scott's hat but I think I'm going to have to do some futzing on the brim to hide the rest of the elastic (probably make another casing) and there's probably just not QUITE enough of what I have left of the rest of the skein to do that, grr. Like I said, the drive home was Not Fun and very wet backwash-y on the freeway. I talked to him for about five minutes--he was saying to someone else when I came in that people from the Bay Area had canceled on going to class there today and I was all "having just come from there, I do not blame them." Talked about the show again and dudes having to be in drag as old ladies.

Mom called after I got home and yelled at me for answering the wrong questions, not being outgoing enough with the relatives, not being able to go to the second showing of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (note: same production, ended up with season tickets in 2 locations 1 month apart) in January because of The Producers, saying I didn't tell her I couldn't go (yes, I did, not my fault if she can't remember) and then yelled at me to find someone else to go with me to C&tCF in December and argued with me when I said I cannot promise I can find anyone who wants to go since most people have work, my friends who are the most into theater here won't go because of covid and everyone else, frankly, I dunno if they'd want to, then she started in on "why don't you ask Scott" and I said "I am never asking him on a date again" and she started arguing it doesn't have to be a date, I pointed out AGAIN that's a workday for him and....well, thankfully Roger started calling for her and she got off the phone. GAH.

Today's Hallmark: A Dickens of a Holiday! Finally, a way for me to relive Dickens Faire without actually being able to go to Dickens Faire. (I am grateful that I didn't buy tickets for the drive through show TODAY, which is exactly why I didn't want to drive to that event alone, even though I met some random lady a few weeks ago who recognized my pocket belt and tried to talk me into it.)

Cassie's town puts on a Victorian festival in Dickens, Ohio, and she's directing A Christmas Carol. I note that this is along the lines of "volunteer community production." But Scrooge is now on vocal rest and the understudy went to Jamaica. Whatever shall we do? The mayor says, why don't you call up your old high school classmate, Jake Dorsey, who does action movies now? Cassie doesn't wanna because she turned him down for a date for prom once upon a time. Kristoffer Polaha is HILARIOUS as doing bad green screen acting in this movie. I note that Jake is the nephew of the kid playing Tiny Tim, so. Jake's cranky brother gives her his number but is clearly snotty about how Jake never goes home.
There's a totally accidental "video call" in which Cassie doesn't mean to video and Jake doesn't mean to pick up, except his assistant does. Jake is all "don't answer if it's from Ohio" and oops! The conversation is excruciatingly awkward and Jake says no ("why don't you play Scrooge?"), but Jake decides to spontaneously show up and do the role anyway!

P.S. It's pretty dumb to be all "If we can't get this guy we can't do the play at all." So far even in rinky-dink land where I operate, directors have managed to find replacements.

I note that Jake said he auditioned for every play in high school but never got in because people saw him as the set building guy. Him and me are the only two who never got into high school plays when we tried, apparently. I note that Jake is HAPPILY CHEWING SCENERY with this Scottish accent, and also I note that he's young and hot, not an old dude.

I wasn't bothering to take notes, but obviously Jake and Cassie bond and start to like each other even more than went on in high school (on his end), and it's cute, until....

I will note that Jake's assistant filmed his rehearsals and sent them to some big shot (he's auditioning for a movie based on his dead mom's favorite book), and then Big Shot invites Jake to his Christmas Eve party...which I note is the same day as the show. Jake very smartly says "I made a commitment, NO," and Cassie is all "It's fine, go!" and I'm all "hey, remember how you said the play doesn't go on without Scrooge? And you've advertised him all over the place?" and "If I were Big Shot, I'd want to know that my actor makes his damn commitments." RIDICULOUS. When Jake says he's staying, Cassie is all "I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THE SHOW." RIDICULOUS. I was liking this movie before, but this is dumb. No actor's gonna do that if he's got any brains/heart/caring about the show/director/castmates, which Jake clearly does because he's nice...OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

The show must go on! It's community theater! As one girl points out, what happens when all the news stations come by looking for Jake? And who's going to play Scrooge? I WILL, SAYS CASSIE. They show a shot of the poster with Cassie's name duck taped over Jake's. OH FFS. Like I know they did "Christmas at Cartwright's" (i.e. The One With Alicia Witt As Santa) and it was hilarious, but...OH NEVER MIND, JAKE JUST RAN ON IN. "Much as I would love to see you play Scrooge, and I would...." (I note that she's totally got her hair down and looking like a hot chick Scrooge. What's with this movie? It's so weird. I love the premise of it and then it just got weird. Like she didn't even bother with the old man wig?)

Heeeeeeeeere's Jake! With old man wig! Looks like it went well! "The easiest, best decision of my life," Jake says, because Jake isn't a total idiot.

Rehearsal: "Along Came Bialy." They asked if anyone can cartwheel during the auditions, and a few guys said they did. Um...I am fairly sure they actually can't, from what I saw tonight? To quote Isaiah, "Hey, I got into the show, didn't I?" So...I dunno what's going on with THAT. As for the rest of us, we sit on stage, shuffled off and on and sang very high pitched. Eventually everyone else comes on for the big group ending.

I was told on the first night I'd get to do the swing scene--well, clearly he changed his mind on that one and gave it to Sharilyn. I felt embarrassed and stupid--but then again, I am not very good, so. At least Scott and I theoretically get to knit on stage in rockers, though I'll see if that actually happens. He was all "I'll have Jen give me tips" and I thought "hah, literally your entire work could do that." We'll see on that score. I wouldn't be surprised if that gets scrapped.

As for the question of "where the hell do you get all those walkers," apparently they loaned their stash of walkers to Sac State, which were then made off with and never returned. So Nate somehow hit up people on the Internet and has supposedly landed six of 'em. Beats me on the rest, but we're not doing the walker part of the number until next week, so good luck with that.

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