Chaos Attraction

In Which Mom Is A Brat, Round 2

2020-12-16, 8:05 p.m.

No Hallmark recapping today, y'all, since things actually happened and I watched two events after work tonight instead.


We started off with a big ol' giant org meeting, which was an hour and fifteen minutes of "We don't actually really know what's going on with curtailment, furloughs, or budget cuts." So far there are no plans to be in person in the spring and more likely to be in fall, but we'll see on the vaccines, which nobody knows about either.

Other points made:

(a) They want a chatbot for customer service. I dunno on that one. I don't think anyone LIKES dealing with bots (creeps me out when I get them for banking questions), but frankly, that might be useful for the ridiculously easy Let Me Google That For You stuff.

(b) One of our computer programs--from my old awful group back in the day--has finally been deemed So Awful (um, duh? It's been bad from the getgo) that they are looking to replace it even though nobody has the money to do that. Hmmmmm.

(c) Not everybody will be allowed to work from home due to customer service, well, that's not a surprise. We are not getting the results of who wanted to do what yet, I guess.

They did take a poll as to how many are in their pajamas:
52 % said yes, in 'em now (me too)
22% said they were business on top, party on the bottom
20% said they never do that
5% said they took off the pj's a minute ago.

News from my boss and her kids:

(a) "We have heard NOTHING" about going back to school in person.
(b) On her kids: "They are SO ANNOYING, YOU GUYS!!!!"
(c) During the office lunch hangout, she told about last week during our meeting when the kids were boxing. Teresa was all, "I guess it was a good thing they were boxing QUIETLY...."
(d) During our meeting later: "(name redacted) picks his nose, you saw that. Or heard that." She told him to stop that and he was all, "But we're having fun!"

News from my coworker Teresa and her kittens:

(a) Teresa is very glad she never had kids, as "two small kittens are getting the best of me." If she wasn't able to stick them in a locked room...
(b) Her husband was complaining that one of them won't leave him alone.
(c) They are "aggressively affectionate" and will purr IN YOUR FACE, while you are doing something.

Also during the lunch meeting, Grandboss brought up the time they made snowglobes on The Great British Baking Show, and someone else didn't know what that was. I did a quick Google search and came up with some 9 second Facebook video, which I briefly watched without the video sound on. Dianna watched it later and cracked up laughing at the ah, dirty implications. Then I was all "oh crap, did I post something dirty at work?" but no, it was just English innuendo.

Last week I got a random wine tumbler in the mail, which kind of baffled me since (a) didn't order it, and (b) didn't come with any identifying information on it other than it came from Amazon. My best guess was that maybe when I did the gift exchange, somehow Teresa hit the wrong button or something and sent me the wrong gift, except I didn't remember a wine tumbler being in the exchange, and I didn't want to be all Difficult and have another problem with that whole thing, so I didn't say anything. Well, turns out it was from Dianna, which makes more sense since we were talking about alcohol at Thanksgiving, and somehow the message got disconnected from the rest of it. (Though now I am all, how'd she get my address? I only know of about three people who have it. I guess our boss? Ah well, I don't really care as long as my office enemies don't find out where I live.) I guess the whole karma of the anonymous package has come back to me!

Last night I got an email from Mom saying she was going to drop by my cousin Alicia's to drop off toys for the kids and then drop off stuff for me, and she's going to call me, and she wants to let herself into the house and put things in. I said (a) please don't call me, as I may be in a Zoom meeting at the time, could you just text, and (b) no, you can't come in the house, please don't.


(a) Yes, she did call during a Zoom meeting, though at least she didn't show up until after the meeting ended.
(b) When she called, I asked if she could go out on the patio to drop off the gifts and maybe we could talk on the phone through the glass door, but she refused to do that because it's "muddy" and insisted on dropping off at the door.
(c) She said "I don't have cooties!" I said, "Literally, none of us knows if we have cooties or not. We can't know!"
(d) Then she got mad when I wouldn't open the door while she was still standing there, and I waited until she was far away.
(e) Then she stomped off in a huff.

Per my therapist, who I texted after that: "Her sense of reality is not the same as yours."

Then later of course she wants to know why it's okay for me to see Scott inside a store but not her from across the hall. (I KNEW it was a terrible idea to cave in on seeing him in person....) and I said (a) you're older and more at risk and (b) I shouldn't be seeing anyone really in the first place. I pointed out that we have no idea if we have it or not and we can't rely on testing to prove that we're safe to be around. (Also, I was thinking of how Athena and John Scalzi got it recently. Where did she get it from? < href="">Hanging around a few friends. Sigh. I didn't say it to Mom right off, but that was on my mind. They didn't even get "bad" cases, but it's screwing with his brain.)

Mom argued that she thinks she's being careful while wearing a mask (true) and said it was hard to see Alicia and not hug her but at least she could see that she has a body and a smile.... so I'm guessing Alicia didn't have her mask on? Oh lord, I can't. She asked if I will see her after she gets her shots and I said I hope so, but it's going to depend on what all the doctors say as to whether or not the vaccinated are infectious or not. I guess we'll have a few months to figure that out.

I said that I HATE being an asshole and hurting people's feelings (and treating them like they all have cooties) and not hugging is killing me, and that I am a crazy person, but the stakes are too high. She said I'm not crazy and admires my convictions, she just doesn't want me to go crazy alone, then started asking about my hair and snarking about not seeing my by that point, she had snapped out of Teh Crazy, I guess. She also said she saw Mauricio a few days ago when he came to pick up the tree he borrows from me for Christmas (he's borrowing my 4-footer for the last few years since I don't have room for it in this apartment) and he will be getting the shot soon. Fingers crossed.

I just really wish she wouldn't snap and go crazy when around me. I have to keep Setting Boundaries and Saying No repeatedly (and it's hard enough the first time!!! And then she doesn't listen and keeps asking!!!) and if I could just trust that she'd politely keep her distance for all of our safety, she'd get to see me more from a distance. But I can't trust her to not do that, we are.

If I thought she'd quarantine for two weeks, I might have brought up the idea of that as an option too (at least in the past, probably wouldn't do any good now given current travel bans), but I know darned well she's not gonna do it and will just run to the store and post office and for takeout over and over, and she would think that's quarantining. So... here we are.

(Ironically, I got an invite to a workshop on boundaries today my hippie neighbor down the street is running, but I might be booked at that time (so far two yesses, one no, but I'd be running the Zoom), so am probably unable to go. Not sure if the other parties are going to cancel for that time at this point since one said no.)

After work, I went to another Story Studio Open Tell workshop night. Tonight was with Gail, who I hadn't seen before. She doesn't do too much critique compared to Amy and Cyndi, though that might just be due to the number of people and people going over time, because she said she wasn't going to say anything if they went over the five minutes. Or she just thought they were all doing so well, she said.

Quotes from her:
"Someone mailed my dog a gingerbread Christmas house."
"I respect those of you who aren't showing their faces." -she used to expect that but got over it, I thanked her for that.
"Keep your clothes on, this isn't a RISK show!"
"Everything about you is always okay."
She also had a funny line I did not get down exactly about I love you, even those I have yet to meet but will grow to love, or never see again...

Moments from the stories tonight:
Guy A: "What I thought was going to be a one night stand with a coworker happened again and again..." This was with someone who had an SO. Eventually she decided to break up with him and called Guy A up, saying, "I jumped. Are you going to catch me?" He said they were together for about 6 years.
Lady B: "As we all know, 2020 has been a bitch." "Trauma after trauma after trauma."
Lady C talked about getting separated from her daughter on the subway--she told it very in the moment panicky--and how a guy banged on the doors until they opened again.
Guy D: "We're an Orthodox family, so you can't use Zoom on the first night of Passover." He talked about how someone was dying of Covid and they couldn't call a rabbi today, so he had to do the prayers for the guy over the phone, just in case. The guy died 2 hours later.
Lady E: "Some people remember their first kiss. I remember my first girdle." She mentions forgetting to put the panties on before the girdle, and then "chaos was breaking out in the living room" with her dad singing "If I'd Knew You Were Coming I'd Have Baked A Cake," so she just put them on over the girdle and left to go to a party. The panties of course fell off while she was doing the twist later, and she ends up hiding in the bathroom. Her friend chucked them in the hamper, saying the family will think they're someone else's. "I never wore that girdle again." Gail: "I want you to be my best friend," and "Look for the moments of surprise!"
Lady F (talking about an art exhibition): "I need chartreuse like I need fucking." and "She was tacky and offensive and sloppy."
Lady G talked about getting a pit bull puppy with her brother and how they worked out training her. The description of the puppy was so cute! (And then, of course, it's dog show and tell time.)
Lady H: "He would pee under a bridge. This was in the 70's...." "There was this one spot where a herd of pigs fell in, drank the water and died...and just sat floating for we'd look for the floating pigs while he peed under a bridge..." Gail: "You have a very colorful family, I think you know that...."
Lady I: "When you're camping in Mexico and someone tells you they know a back entrance to some ruins, you go."

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