Chaos Attraction

Non-Traditional Holiday Movies

2011-12-22, 1:25 p.m.

Non-Traditional Holiday Movies I Have Seen This Year:

Die Hard: Okay, yeah, I hadn't gotten around to seeing this before, what the hell. Amusingly enough, for a Christmas movie there's not that much in the way of decorations. Some amusing use of songs, though.

Anyway, is this the last point in time where Bruce Willis was funny? I loved him on Moonlighting way back in the day, but it seemed like once he went Action Hero that just died off. He gets in a few good lines here and there in this one though, thank goodness.

This is a really well done movie, all things considered. Especially "Now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho," and the part where McClane and Hans Gruber meet for the first time. And the glass, oh my god, the glass. And Al the cop being the only one that believes him. (Wow, it's astounding how the rest of the LAPD does NOTHING. What the hell, y'all?)

The Long Kiss Goodnight: Holy shit, this movie. It's freaking surreal. The director strikes me as kinda nuts when he's doing the dream sequences...or the insane stunts...or anything, really.

Anyhoo: Samantha Caine has a whopping 8-year-old long case of amnesia, starting back when she was pregnant. Now she's living the normal mom life somewhere, until she gets into a fucking horrific car incident involving a groping old man, hitting a deer, getting thrown out of the car... and then she starts remembering her old life as assassin Charlie (I refuse to spell it "Charly," she's not a mentally deficient guy getting experimented on, for fuck's sake) Baltimore.

Charlie has a scary-ass voice, licks blood off things, wrenches off deer antlers, and breaks dudes' necks without a blink. Holy crappity. Also, Samuel L. Jackson is adorable as a chipper, perpetually singing PI. Who knew? There's also lots of amazingly snappy/horrifying quotes. Particularly involving the words "ass fucking."

Bell, Book And Candle: (Yes, I spent Yule watching this one.) So this witch named Gillian kinda likes her hot neighbor Shep. Except he's engaged to this nasty girl she went to college with, Merle. Gillian's not inclined to poach, but hell, poaching him from Merle would do him a favor... And once she finds out that Merle wants to elope on Christmas, Gillian whammies him with her cat. (This looks so completely witchy and intimidating, doesn't?)

Then this dude rolls into town talking about witches and warlocks (ooh, actual witches haaaaate when you say "warlock!"), and claims he can spot a witch at first sight. Which is working SO well with Gillian and her relatives...Then her brother is all, "I wanna write a book!" and outs himself to the writer dude... and Gillian confesses to Shep that she's a witch. But if you fall in love, you lose your powers, so undoing the spells she's done on Shep isn't happening.

I like the characters in this movie, but the plot's a little weak even beyond my general dislike of "love turns your powers to crap." (Where do baby witches come from, I wonder?) I think it would have improved matters vastly to have Merle also be a witch (really, you kinda think she is...), a la the plot of Enter Three Witches. It's a hoot in that book when you find out that the guy who just wants to try dating someone "normal" isn't, and I enjoy that he ends up in the middle of a witch bitch fight. Having Merle also be doing magical evil shit back at Gillian while they fight over Shep could have led to some fun plot times, y'all.

No real news today, other than (a) my lost work tag turned my couch. I wish my glove would do that, and (b) I'm still working on the Minnie Mouse hats. I am hoping I'll finish Mom's tonight because uh...she has the day off entirely tomorrow. Dammit. She'll be showing up at my place doing god knows what while I'm not there...and she wants to bring ham to cook in my tiny kitchen. That's not going to go well.

I started pondering using a vacation day to just not come in under these circumstances, but...given how much one-on-one uninterrupted Quality Time I'll be having with her for eleven days, maybe I'll just enjoy the quiet at work.

And here's the Yule music link from the silly links blog.

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