Chaos Attraction

Everything Always Gets A Little Bit Harder

2005-01-14, 3:02 p.m.

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I went and got my back massage on Monday. I liked the chick doing it- she seems to be of an er, alternative bent herself (first thing she noticed on my hands was my pentacle ring. Most people notice the disco one, so that tells you a lot), so that was fun. She made a crack at some point about how boyfriends never want to give you backrubs, and after 14 years of marriage she's gotten to the point where her husband will give her foot rubs. Yeah, ain't that the truth? I think she loosened things up some- evidently I'm so tight you can't even tell if I'm a righty or a lefty by my back.
Actually, that was the part I was afraid of with going- that I'd be told my back was so bad that I should be paying professionals on a regular basis to deal with it. And....yup, that turned out to be the case. Waaaaah.
For the record, I don't have a bad back that gives me pain or something every day. I normally don't notice it at all unless I have to touch it or something. It's just naturally very tense ("My masseuse said I have a lot of tension in my back!" -Cher Horowitz), and I'm sure running around with a heavy backpack all the time (or of late, being forced to use weights in aerobics classes) doesn't help that. I can't help but wonder if that contributes to me being headache-prone a bit, though.
I don't know how I feel about paying for deep tissue massage (I am so bad I need deep tissue massage? Yikes.), though, since my insurance doesn't do that sort of thing. There are apparently a buttload of masseuses in the downtown area, so that's convenient, but none of them had webpages- just phone numbers to call- and I hate calling phone numbers and asking for prices and then being Sold To, when all I wanted was to quietly gather information without attracting pitchmen. I may have to wander around downtown at some point and sneak into some offices and look for fliers and do some price comparison if I follow up with this. I just hope to god DTM isn't some sort of $100/session-type thing, because if it is, I'll just deal with the back. I don't make that much a month, thanks. I can do the occasional $100+ purchase once or twice a month, but on a regular basis weekly or monthly, argh.

This week's classes at the gym...oy. Last week I was enjoying them, but this week they were clearly Made Harder than before. I was nearly dead during several points of the classes, especially last night when the teacher had us drag out a bunch of weights and then proceeded to make us do way too many sets (to the point where students were complaining) because she got so excited about it. I hate doing weights so much. Even the lightest ones in the room irritate me after awhile, and the body bar she made us use last night just fucked me up even quicker. Then she had us do the same kind of leg pulling that screwed me up so bad during the BTB class, and while I cramped up a bit slower than last time, I could still barely move. ARGH. And she kept going on, "Doesn't that feel SO GOOD?" Yeah, like having a leg ripped off feels good. I think I'd rather have a flabby ass for bikini season than keep that up.
After this week, my "Finding Your True Self" class starts up, so I won't be going to TBT (the Thursday night class) for a month. If she keeps increasing it each time, I wonder if I'll even be able to come back to class without dying midway through in a month.

I evidently won't be going home this weekend, as Mom wants desperately to drop the couch off at my place. Except she wants me to clean up the joint first (hah), and asked if I could find anyone to help us move the couch in (um, no). And since my cousin Ron is being an asshole as usual, that means she and I will have to lift it. "We'll manage," she said. After fucking up at weights this week, I don't think so. But what else can be done about it?

Volunteering started up again Wednesday night, and this time it was a blast. Sooooo much different from the dead-quiet folks I had last shift. One of the guys I was on with during the summer, and his girlfriend (who I spent a fair amount of time chatting with last quarter while I was bored on shift) is also on, along with another guy who's an employee and not a student. I may be the oldest on shift, but at least someone else doesn't have to study, hee. And my new manager is cool. We ordered a buttload of pizza products, watched a movie, and played around on some bizarre skateboards. It was the most entertaining first week of volunteering (which is normally dead) ever. Plus, new manager likes leaving as early as she can, so she said she wanted us to start cleaning as soon as we could on shifts rather than waiting till 9:30 to start it up. I'm all for that.

So, anyone remember this entry, in which it was predicted that February would be a big career month, and I was all, "yeah, right, I don't fucking think so?"


Nothing's happening with me personally now, mind you. But one way or another, it looks like there will be some shifts at work coming up pretty soon.

On the one hand, that's a good thing, I suppose. On the other hand, I'm all, "Damn, take the one stable thing in my life and shake it up, why don't you?" I hate to be all Taurean-stick-in-the-mud about it, but sometimes it's like, can't anything stand still for awhile? Does everything have to go chaotic? Every single thing?

Maybe I should just go borrow Dave Lister's stasis field for awhile. It sounds warm and comfy.

That article on manifestation the other day finally opened up to comments, which is where I found this cool idea: the "New Year's Treasure Map." "basically, you make a collage of images that represent things you would like to see come to fruition in the coming year. then you hang this collage somewhere you can see it everyday and be reminded of your goals and kept on track."

I like it. I might try it, assuming I find the right kind of magazines to cut up. I wonder what I'd put into it?

* lots and lots of friends
* creativity
* stability!!!! How does one represent this, I wonder?
* excitement
* a redone apartment
* a buff body
* less parental stress (don't ask me how to represent that, I have no clue)
* magic
* enlightenment? yoga pic? meditation pic?
* money
* car?
* emotional freedom?

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