What do I say about the weekend?

It was very, very, very, very romantic.

On Saturday we did go to the Renaissance Faire after all, as the weather was cool but fairly dry. S&D knew half the people there from when they were in guilds, and we spent a good deal of time running around between people and tents.

The outfits are amazing, I so want one and have for years. Though they are unfortunately bloody expensive and difficult to make- hell, I have a degree in clothing design and I still am intimidated to make that stuff. Dave's decided he wants to get into the whole thing and get an outfit and join a guild (actually, we were invited to join one), and started acquiring items pretty much immediately. He got a skullcap hat to wear for one of his vampire characters (that and his hair's at an ungroomable length right now, so that solves the problem), a big old belt, and an elaborate knife, which is gorgeous but worrying to me. Knives worry me in general, as I'm prone to absentminded slice-and-dice of my fingers on occasion. He wanted to get me one, but I refused. I also got him a lovely black dress shirt- cheapest shirt I ever saw in my life, too.

As for me, well... I have wanted a claddagh ring ever since I saw the one on Buffy (yeah, I know). I think they are totally romantic, I love heart shapes, I love the different meanings the ring has, they're adorable. However, I've always felt those were a boyfriend-type thing that you're supposed to get as a gift, and buying one for yourself was kinda cheating. (Though I did buy myself a claddagh toe ring last summer, which I then broke because I walked around on it too much. I'm just too hard on toe rings.) Anyway, I'd been thinking about when we were at faire to go look at getting some, so I dragged him over to the nearest jewelry booth and started trying rings on. I have a damn small ring size on my ring finger, and it was difficult to find any that fit. We eventually found a small enough silver ring and he got it for me. Then we went looking to find him a matching ring, only his finger was so big that we had a hard time finding one that fit. (We're a study in contrasts, obviously.) Finally we found a gorgeous one that fit him- but it was a ring with a green stone heart. So we ended up getting me another ring with a green heart to match his. I'm wearing both of them now, the silver on my right hand and the green on my left. This is what they look like, if you're curious.

After getting the rings, Scott arranged for us to be handfasted by a friend of his who runs a guild (yeah, the one we got invited to join. Given the circumstances and all...). He made sure to find us a person who was willing to do the short version, as opposed to the one that takes hours and involves 24-hour wrist binding, broom jumping, and eggs being smashed against the forehead (don't ask, I didn't wanna know) and other stuff I had no qualms about missing.

We were told that handfasting is basically along the lines of an engagement/trial marriage, which lasts a year and a day. The ceremony was pretty much like the usual marriage vows, but I about choked when the guy said to me "love, honor, and obey." I was thinking "Er, WHAT?!?! Excuse me?!" and was sorely tempted to object to that until I remembered that we were at a freaking Renaissance faire, where it's all done the old-fashioned way. I still didn't like it, but I didn't object. (Of course, actual obeying isn't likely to happen if I don't agree...) Anyway, we kneeled down, said "I do," kissed, and it was done. I felt like we'd just eloped. We did a post-handfasting picture by a waterfall and then went home.

Man, it is hard to describe my feelings about this... Very mushy, basically. He's feeling the same way- said this was the happiest day of his life. I love looking at our hands with the matching rings. I love carrying reminders of him around on me all day, though it does seem weird to have rings that I won't take off at night the way I usually do. Not to mention that handfasted folk are supposed to wear claddagh rings "upside down", or with the heart point going towards your finger (according to Scott and the guy who did the ceremony). I keep looking at them and going "It's BACKWARDS!" Doesn't help that I wear a heart-shaped fire topaz ring on my left middle finger, so I've got one wonky upside-down heart sitting right next to a right side up one. I'm not sure what to refer to him as- "handfasted husband?" I'll probably just keep calling him other terms that won't confuse people as much. And I about flipped Saturday night when he called me "Mrs. (his last name)." Hopefully he didn't see my mouth dropping open. He knows I want to keep my name, but still, whoa.

Married, but not. What a boggling concept, huh? Though I liked what Demma said about how she thinks handfasting should really be done more often so as to prevent more divorces.

I feel very united with him right now. Not that I didn't before, but... I'm reminded of the ex saying that living together wasn't the same as being married. Didn't get it then, do now- there's power in those vows. Whoa. Since then, Scott's been announcing to everyone who came by that we were married, which usually lead to us having to explain before anyone got mad at not getting an invite. He gave us a candle (man and woman standing next to each other) as an official gift from the entire coven.

Speaking of magic(k?), we actually did some rituals Saturday night. I've been whining that I wanted to do some, since technically I'm in a coven and all and we never seem to do any. One of the coven members (who for obvious reasons shall remain anonymous) recently broke up with a guy who does black magic, and he's been acting weird about it. She hadn't slept in a week and figured out after borrowing a charm of Scott's and wearing it to bed that someone had put a spell on her. So they got some candles, incense and a bowl and did some burning and chanting. I dunno, it wasn't exactly feeling like I have in the past when I've done stuff on my own. I think that I must be more about the will stuff than the chanting and symbols when it comes to magic.

What I was more into was Scott offering to put a protection charm (I think that's what he called it?) on a necklace of mine. I have a little pentacle necklace, which I gave to him for that. He made up some kind of mix of oils, held my necklace through candle fire (it didn't get turned black, which Scott said was an indication it was already magical) and then let it sit in the oils for awhile. He offered to put the charm on Dave's and my rings and said that would help bind us together. Yay to that, so we handed them over. Dave said he already felt naked without it. Awww.

So anyway, I figure that I might as well give away the big secret I've been hiding. Between my previous cryptic remarks and the entry, you may have guessed already, but... We're engaged.

Yes, I'm aware that I'm crazy for doing this so soon. I still have a hard time believing it myself, as I've been a spinster type for pretty much my whole life. Not to mention that I'm normally much more of a sensible person who would never rush into something serious like this and went so far as to make rules about not rushing, so I feel rather embarrassed to admit that I got engaged to a fellow that I'd only met a few weeks before. A lot of people are so gonna smack me over the head when they find out I did that this soon.

It's going to be a long engagement (at least a year, possibly two) because we need to work out details like money and jobs and living in the same town first, and that's gonna take awhile. Despite my moments of impatience, and his, I think that's a good thing to wait. (Yes, I realize the irony of this statement after this entry.) The handfasting is kind of an "in the meantime" thing. Which'll be interesting considering we're not living together like you're supposed to, but oh well.

Lord, that secret's been hard to keep in all these weeks of writing in the diary. I haven't told any family or friends here about this, though I did tell Jackie in e-mail tonight after she made a "be sure to invite me to the real wedding" comment. I probably won't tell for a long while because well, they're all gonna freak. Dave, on the other hand, seems to have told half of his town. I think weddings after a short time are more common there, given the reactions I've seen. Our parents are well, obviously still getting used to the idea of us being together, so we definitely need to wait there. Mine might have heart attacks if they heard this now. I'm figuring on waiting for six months to a year (depending) to drop that bomb on them. That's going to be hard to do, but I don't want to shock the hell out of them. Though I'm wondering what Mom thought when I casually said "Oh, Dave bought me some rings at Ren Faire." I bet she's suspecting something's up. Dave flashed his ring at his mom and said "Jen and I got matching rings," but left it at that.

(I am such a big idiot for putting this online, I know, but my parents are really not swift on net usage and have no idea how to do any kind of search. And at any rate, I need to blow off some steam sometimes, so what the hell.)

previous entry - next entry
archives - current entry