Chaos Attraction


2019-03-31, 9:55 p.m.

I kept intending to go to Femmefest at the Comedy Spot all weekend, but I ended up going to storytelling on Friday instead, and I got back too late on Saturday to go then. I did, however, go Sunday night. The chick I took this class from (yet another one of those “people I wish I could be friends with”) was a co-runner of it.

The Sunday shows started out with a free panel of women in comedy talking. I knew about half of them, one of them being a girl I took classes with and now she is in every show, teaches and runs programs now and is basically the favorite. Can’t help but compare myself to that. And then she was all, “I started in 2014,” and I was all, fuck, it’s been THAT LONG since I was a regular here? I feel so sad.

The panel was good, but through the whole thing I was angsting and feeling bad that I could just never “get in” here as one of their “family.” (Which is really quite full.) I miss going to the Spot, but I only get off my ass and go once or twice a year at this point because I end up feeling sad and loser-y when I go and compare myself to all my old classmates literally rocking the house.

And also, what the heck can you do if you’re never going to get onto a team? I know they have the Taste Test drop-in games class and the sorta-Harold drop-in rehearsals, and I should do those, but somehow knowing I’m never going any farther there has made me lose my mojo to drive a half hour away for that (especially the late at night drop-in rehearsals). Also, I can say from experience if you take Improv 301 over and over again, they start to think it’s a little weird. Hence why I have been trying to move on elsewhere.

Also I had fun thoughts like, “If I see people I knew, should I say hi or just assume they don’t remember me at this point and hide?” Which is a thing that happens here when I run into ex-friends. Whee. I saw several folks I knew but they didn’t notice me, so it didn’t come up.


I hadn’t pre-bought ahead of time, so after the free panel was over, I went to buy my ticket for the rest of the night’s show. And the lady running the money recognized me and was all, “Didn’t you use to take classes here?” (I did not know her at all, whatsoever, but these things happen to me as a distinctive dresser, so you just kinda go with it.)
So I was all, yeah, I used to, but I ran out of classes and I figured out I’m not what they’re looking for in an improv team, so I’m trying to do things elsewhere like do improv in my town (“really? they have it THERE?”) and storytelling. She was encouraging me to do standup--to be fair, that’s the one thing I haven’t taken there--though I am not sure if my style of storytelling would count for what they do as standup there.

You know who I wish I could talk to about this? That professor. Oh well.

But I am now considering it (when I have time, right?).

Anyway, here’s the shows I saw:

* Improv TBA: short games a la Whose Line, which was fun. Especially enjoyed the moves with the giant crayons.
* A stand-up comedian who, well, I didn’t agree with most of the stuff she was in to (going on about how ooooold she was and preferring 50-year-old men), but I did enjoy her humping the stool like it was a dude humping a lady.
* Another stand-up comedian who had some good jokes about (a) a guy who supposedly fathered triplets bragging about his dick and then the nurse being all, “yeah, those kids are a different color than you” and (b) a kid who wants to bang some girls his dad says are his sisters and his mom saying “go ahead, you’re not his son.”
* Double Threat: This was five ladies combining improv and standup: i.e. they get five minutes and five ‘random” topics (apparently picked from their interests in life?) to come up with a random monologue about. This was one of the moments in life where I was all, “I WANNA DO THAAAAAAAAAAAT. I could absolutely rant about coffee for a few minutes off the cuff.”
* Another stand-up comedian talking about her evil customer service smile and passive aggressiveness, sex, and how bisexuals don’t ogle ladies on the street ‘cause they been there on the other side of that.
* Karaoke Improv Song Wheel: long but a delight. Had a lot of women in this one, like seven or eight or something (at one point a co-host was brought on). It was run by one of my former classmates, who apparently put god only knows who’s names in the bowl, and I gather also put some note someone left on her car in there? She had this so buggered someone pointed out, “I don’t think you know how names in a bowl is supposed to work.” Damn right, I must say. After awhile it was kinda “I give up, everyone left do some duets.”

Notable moments from this one:

* The aforementioned favorite had to sing about coal mining, to island music. Chorus: “Surf. Sun. Coal mining.” Even she found this one difficult.
* One girl, Allison, had the “oh shit” look on her face once someone yelled out “lubricant” as a song topic. She just KNEW she’d get that one and didn’t want it, and she was right. She did a pretty good job of working it anyway, and also turning it into a moment of alcoholism.
* Mel was “basically here as a joke,” but had to go twice anyway, and others were helping her out when all she could come up with was “losing my job,” on repeat. At one point she said, “I’m out of breath and need a smoke,” yet had to sing again anyway.

On my way out, I was waiting at the street corner with a guy on a skateboard and a girl on a bike. Skateboard guy asked if I wanted to hop on for a ride, and I said thanks, but I think I’d fall off. The girl on a bike was, “Death is permanent.”

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